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A Day Without Plans

Plans keep my brain occupied, but like you, I need time off.  On days without plans, I putter around first on the computer, then in the kitchen, and finally around the house.   When I start to feel a little aimless, the Shoulds come to visit.

Shoulds Make Unwelcome House Guests

I dislike the Shoulds.  They are unwelcome house guests.  They take the fun out of everything.

The Shoulds make me feel guilty.  They love that.  The guiltier I feel, the louder they talk.  It’s a relentless circle.

Take this weekend for example.  I took an entire day off.  I needed it, but the Shoulds didn’t leave me alone.  They reminded me I needed to cook, clean, make my bed and do laundry.  When I sat down to read my book, they needled me so I was popping up every 15 minutes to do another odd job.

Where Do Shoulds  Come From?

I have a theory.  They are homeless thoughts looking for vacant spaces in your brain where they can take up residency.  Once moved in, they spread out like weeds inviting their friends to come hang out in their new pad.

Friends of the Shoulds are the Coulds and Woulds.  When they all get together, it’s a party.  They shout, dance, and generally make a mess of what was once a calm brain.

Time To Take Control

It’s time we took a stand.  Just because the Shoulds have a lot of friends, doesn’t mean they can take over whenever we relax.

Here’s some tactics I’ve used to keep the Shoulds at bay:

1. When a Should makes a suggestion, say something like, “That’s nice.  Thank you for the suggestion, I’m going back to my book now.”
2. If it’s an insistent Should, look at your day,week or month and put it down at a specific day and time.
3. If it’s a repeating Should, ask where did that come from.  Do a little journaling to see if it fits in your life or is a ghost of the past.

Finally if all else fails, take a nap.  Let your subconscious deal with those little buggers.  It will calmly tell them to quiet down so you can rest.  When you wake up, you’ll find them much quieter if not gone.

How do you corral your Shoulds?  Love to know.

Part of the Life Simplified Garden

Love who you are, what you are and what you do.  Laugh at yourself and at life.  Louise Hay

My Garden

Last weekend I planted my annual herb garden.  This year I’m also trying my hand at tomatoes, zucchini, peppers, spinach, salad greens and summer squash.

Planting each seed and seedling, reminded me of how I’d once again stopped doing my inner work.

The meditative work of planting my garden, reminded me of life’s simple law.  Plant seeds.  Care for them.  Tend to the weeds.  In the end you’ll be rewarded with the seed’s unique gift.

The same is true for our personal and professional inner work.

What Mental Seeds Are You Planting?

If you plant a tomato seed, you don’t expect a zucchini.  Yet every day you the mental seed of I’m not worthy and expect love.  Spend 24 hours monitoring your thoughts.  They are subtle, so listen carefully.

What do you say to yourself if you are running late?  What do you say to yourself if a bill comes and there is no money in the bank?  What do you say to yourself when those summer clothes are tighter than last year or you have to put on your bathing suit for the first time?

Are those seeds you want to grow in your inner garden? I thought so.

I Love And Approve Of Myself

One of the most powerful, yet simple affirmations I use I learned from Louise Hay, “I love and approve of myself.”  When I decide to plant this seed rather than other negative seeds, I find life, personally and professionally, takes on a whole different hue.

Imagine walking into a situation saying, “I’m fat.  No one wants to talk to me because I’m so boring.”  Got it.  Now imagine the same situation and instead you’re saying, “I love and approve of myself.”  Can you feel the difference?When I do this work with clients, I see them sit up straighter, smile and relax.

Tend To Your Garden Daily

If you’re a gardener or just have a few herbs from the grocery store on the windowsill, try planting this mental seed while you’re tending your garden.

As you water your garden, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”  As you weed your garden, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”   As you smile with pride over your first tomato, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”  

You can certainly repeat the affirmation other times as well.  The garden just gives you some time to meditate the feeling of the affirmation.

By connecting this practice with your garden, you’ll find you’re not just reaping tomatoes this summer.

You will see the little miracles occur in your life.  The things you are ready to eliminate will go of their own accord.  The things and events you want will pop up in your life seemingly out of the blue.  you will get bonuses you never imagined! ~ Louise Hay

phot credit: sheilascarborough via flickr

Simplify.  Simplify.  Simplify.  ~ Thoreau

Pioneer Woman

I have a long standing fantasy.  I live on a farm in the 1800′s out west somewhere.  We don’t have a lot.  We make  do with what we have.  The closest neighbor is 10 miles away.  The town is nearly double that.

This could have sprung from all the Little House on the Prairie, books and shows I watched in the ’70′s.  There’s something intriguing about making a life from what appears to be nothing.

I was addicted to the PBS reality show, Frontier House.  Modern families lived on the Montana frontier for 6 months as if it were 1883.  Watching what they struggled with made me realize how much we all take for granted in our lives today.

Why do I fantasize about living the pioneer life?

Pioneers were people like you and me.  They had to survive with next to nothing.  Many could not, but many did.  Those that did had a strength I admire.

Their simple living has inspired me to learn to bake bread using a starter rather than store bought yeast.  Build a pantry of ingredients rather than pre-made meals.  Survive even the most difficult days at work.  And even simplify my life.

Today I’m in need of a little simplification.

Around this time in January, the Christmas decorations have been down for a while, but the house (and especially my office) still feels cluttered.  It’s probably because, here’s another confession, I’m a piler, meaning I create piles. You may not have guessed this when you visit because I’m also an expert pile hider.

Behind the simplified facade, I know there are piles that need sorting.  Papers that need recycling.  Books that need donating.  And unused items that need to find new homes.

I’m excited to clear out

Today is going to be a simplification day.  I’m giddy with excitement.  Simplifying helps me in so many ways.  It helps me prioritize, a great thing to do at the beginning of the year.  It makes me feel lighter versus weighed down by all the excess baggage.

Why do I simplify?

More importantly simplifying allows me to realize the abundance in my life that is over looked on a daily basis.  I have so much to be grateful for, too much, but I forget that when I’m rushing around day to day.

There are so many people out there who can use what I have stored somewhere in a pile.  Why not liberate that energy?  Sharing what you don’t need any more, can make someone’s day.

Today I’m adapting my pioneer woman attitude.  What do I need?  What do I love?  What haven’t I used in a while?  Where can it go to help someone else?

Do you have simplifying days?  Feel free to share your experience!