photo credit: sweetonveg via flickr

Healing In The Midst of Craziness

After a week that felt turned upside down, Friday I had an amazing healing experience.

I was part of a wonderful drumming circle where we not only got messages for ourselves, but sent healing and compassion out to the world.  There were only a few of us in the room, yet the power and energy created was magical.

Getting Back to Normal

If you’ve been through a deeply spiritual experience; a birth, a death, a healing you know how hard it is to “get back to normal.”  I’ll never forget when my mom passed away 5 years ago, how surreal the world felt after the funeral.  The next day everyone seemed to get back into their routine.  I, however, wasn’t sure what that was any more.

I had the same experience about a year after that coming back from a retreat in Sedona.  Integrating back into the physical world was hard, like coming back from a very long vacation and feeling a bit disoriented.  All the crazy to do’s you had before the trip, don’t mean much when you get home.

That’s how I’m feeling this weekend.  Yesterday I felt lost.  What I read on social networks seemed trite.  What I saw on television very flat.  Nothing had a lot of meaning.

The Healing Process: Figuring Out Normal Again

This is normal.  It’s part of the healing process.

When you have a life changing experience, you are given the opportunity to recreate your normal.  It’s one of the only times, you naturally can change a value or priority in your life.

If you’re feeling out of sorts, that’s okay.  Know that you’re just trying to figure out what normal is.

Let Go Of What’s Not Important

Treasure this time instead of fear it.  Don’t jump back into the same routine.  This is time for you to heal more than just what’s happened in your life.  It’s a time when you can heal so much more.

If your life doesn’t allow downtime, notice how things feel.  If they feel out of place, then try to remove them.

For example I’d been wanting to give up coffee for a while, but wasn’t able to make progress.  After the events here in Boston, I just stopped.  It didn’t seem to fit any more in my life.

Notice what now feels forced.  If it was something you wanted to let go before but you couldn’t, now may be the time.

Becoming Sound and Healthy Again

Healing means to become sound and healthy again.  If that means giving up things that didn’t serve the sound and healthy lifestyle you desire, now is a good time to let go.  You’re psyche is ready.

Additional note:

I thought I would share the reaction to the healing session we had from the owner of Andeva Wellness who organized the event.

When I looked around I looked into the people that where here today. I did not see their clothes, or
hair, their possessions or even if they were male or female. Instead, I was present to who they were on
a soulful level. We had an Eagle Sore, a multi-generation of beautiful yellow light grace us, a group of
spirits flying with their white lights and the amazing presence of Jesus himself illuminated our circle. We,
as a group, intended to reach far beyond Andeva Wellness Center with our prayers and our healing and
we did. When put together as a collective whole it is amazing what can transpire. There was also a group
healing that occurred simply because it was needed in the moment. Being connected and feeling the
light work through you, but not because of you, knowing you are a vessel for what is possible, is truly
doing God’s work. When one has the opportunity to be a part of something so special your perspective
changes forever. One starts to know what is possible and creates a space for more Light and Love to
enter. I am forever grateful to be on the journey that I am on and also for all the amazing and wonderful
souls that are sent to share my journey. Continue to grow, be open and search for a soul near you today.

Authentic Reflection

I may not be as thin as a model,

As smart as a scientist,

As business savvy as an analyst.

But…

I am the best me there is.

What others see as flaws,

I see as beauty.

What others doubt,

I dream.

I may not meet your expectations.

That’s okay.

Your expectations are your thoughts not mine.

I’m the best me there will ever be, every day.

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Check out our Trust Your Brilliance Workshops where busy people are re-connecting with what’s important in their lives.

Not one in your area? Email me to see how we can set up one for your group.

I’ve been listening closely to you and here’s a question, do you believe in yourself?

Outwardly your words say yes, but it’s what you’re saying inside that matters.  What is that?

Do you praise yourself for a job well done, or criticize for not doing better?

Do you encourage yourself to take risks, or squash those thoughts because they are too dangerous?

Do you spend all your time supporting other’s dreams there’s no time to think about your own?

Believe In Yourself

Believing in yourself is one of the most important things you can do.  Without it you become an empty shell.  Nothing seems relevant and good fortune seems to avoid you.

Try giving yourself a pep talk throughout the day.  When a negative thought surfaces, don’t pay attention, instead use that to prompt a pat on the back.

You Deserve To Believe In Yourself

You deserve all the accolades you give others.  You deserve to be loved.  You deserve abundance.  You deserve happiness.  You deserve to live your dreams every day.

So why not start today with a simple affirmation from Louise Hay, “I love and accept myself.”  Repeat that throughout the day.

What If I Make A Mistake?

If you do make what you call a mistake, notice how saying “I love and approve of myself” refocuses you back on the behaviors instead of beating yourself up. Those mistakes soon become the lessons they were intended to be rather than an excuse to make yourself feel bad.

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Check out our Trust Your Brilliance Workshops where busy people are re-connecting with what’s important in their lives.

Not one in your area? Email me to see how we can set up one for your group.

photo credit: bettyx1138 via flickr

You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important. ~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help

I watched The Help with my sister a couple years ago.  I loved the opening scene where Aibileen repeats these simple affirmations to the little girl she cares for.

How awesome would it be to have someone whispering, “You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important” in your ear.  This started me thinking about affirmations.

In the scene, you get the feeling that Aibileen is reminding the child of these traits so she wouldn’t forget them in the shadow of her uncaring mother.

The Child’s Experience  

Now let’s think like the little girl.  What do you think she heard? Since kids that young can only think in the present, she would hear, “I am kind.  I am smart.  I am important.”  That’s a much different perspective.

When you learn to use affirmations, you are taught to think about what you want in the future.

The Tricky Part Of Affirmations

I’ve been using affirmations for years.  Sometimes they work and other times they didn’t.  When they didn’t I figured I wasn’t trying hard enough.  The Help reminded me of another reason.

Affirmations based on future results can cause the opposite result because unconsciously you don’t believe them.  The affirmation focuses your attention on the gap between where you are and where you want to be.  The more you repeat it, the bigger the gap.

Aibileen’s Lesson

Aibileen taught me, yes you can have affirmations based on the future, but you need to look at the present to make them real.  For example if your affirmation is,  ”I am successful,”  you need to focus on where you are successful right now.

Bringing your affirmation to the present moment, you build its power.  You attach it to real life examples.  Now your rational brain can accept it as truth.  The more you do this, the more true the affirmation becomes now and for the future.

Affirmation Activity

If you’re struggling sitting there thinking of examples, pull out a piece of paper.  Write your affirmation at the top.  Then write down all the examples of how you’ve already demonstrated the affirmation.  If you’re affirmation is you are successful, write down all the ways you are successful.

Now when you repeat your affirmation, your left brain accepts it and allows it easier passage to the right brain where it will live and grow.

You is kind.  You is smart. You is important.

Take Aibileen’s lesson to heart.  Learn to bring your affirmations into the future so you can feel them.  And always remember, You is kind. You is smart.  You is important.

The point of power is always in the present moment. ~ Louise Hay

Such a simple message, but so profound. 

Last night after dinner while watching tv with my father, I noticed him muttering to himself so I asked him what he was thinking about.

He said, “I’m trying to figure out how this month will play out.”  He’s been going through chemo.  Although he has this month’s schedule he felt it necessary to obsess over all the details for nearly a half an hour.  That’s a lot of moments.

The power of the moment.

Each moment we have the ability to change our future.  We can impact the life of another.  We can love.

What you choose to do with your moment is up to you, but here’s a couple things that won’t help:

• Dwelling on the past – for the past doesn’t exist any more.
• Worrying about the future – it will come no matter what.

Avoiding the present.

As I watch my father age, I notice he spends less and less time in the present.  The past is an old friend he wraps around himself especially when he’s sick.  The future is uncertain and he fears it.

I know I can’t change my father’s thinking.  That’s up to him.  What I do know is that I can choose to live in the moment.

In each moment I can focus on my intentions.  Is it to bring more love?  Then I will do that.  Is it to experience abundance?  Then I will do that.  Is it to be true to myself?  Then that’s what I’ll do.

Where is your focus?

Claim your point of power now.  No matter what your situation, when you strip away all the shoulds, you own each moment.  Gobble it up!

photo credit A Room With A View on Facebook

New Year Thoughts

I woke up this morning full of hope and wonder.  Not a bad way to start 2013.

There have been years where I’ve wished away the new year because of fear.  Fear motivated my resolutions.  There was almost a “or else” quality about them.  The “or else” was always subconscious.  It usually had something to do with being a bad person.

This year instead of resolutions, I’ve set intentions.  Intentions guide and support your actions.  Intentions are also easier to approach each day without feeling guilty.  They allow you to approach each day as if it were another new year.  You start from where you are each day and try to be a little better.

What are some of my intentions the new year?

To love more.

To write more.

To accept more.

To stay true to myself.

To savor what I eat.

To treasure every minute of every day.

To feel the abundance of every day.

To see more miracles.

To give more.

To live from my heart.

Even writing down my new year intentions feels so much better than writing those silly resolutions.  They feel fresh and energized.  I can look at this list and feel good.  Isn’t that what a new year should feel like?

Setting intentions is easy.

If you’ve never set intentions it’s easy.  All you need to do is sit in a quiet spot and wish.  What do you you want more of in your life?  Listen to what your heart says.  Write down whatever comes up.

Then look at the list.  Whatever gets you excited are the intentions that are asking for your attention. Put them in a place you can see every day.  That’s it.

Your life will change.

When you set intentions, you will have dramatic shifts in your life.  Why? Because you’re changing from within.  Don’t be surprised if other things happen you wanted, but didn’t put on the list.

What are your intentions for the new year?

Ready to get started?  Get your pencil out and start dreaming.

photo credit: spapax via photopincc

Playing Hot Cold

Remember the game Hot/Cold.  The closer you got to something the other person would yell, “You’re getting hot.”  The farther away they would yell, “You’re so cold your frozen!”

I watched a couple kids playing this the other day while I was waiting for an appointment.  It was fun to see their squeals of delight as the person got closer to the object.

I believe your soul plays the same game with you.  Since it comes from a world of peace, abundance and love, it wants you to experience this every day.  You, however, have an ego of your own who’s motivation is unrest, lack and fear.

Soul Messages

The more you listen to your ego the farther you get from your soul’s purpose.  That’s when the game kicks into gear.  Your soul starts whispering you’re getting colder.  The more you live in fear and lack the louder the messages from your soul.

Since the soul doesn’t speak in words, it’s message is felt.  Ever have that feeling of just wanting a hug.  That’s your soul speaking.  Do you yearn for more abundance in your life?  You guessed it, your soul is telling you your getting colder.

When you have these tugs at your heart, pay attention.  They  aren’t there to make you feel bad.  They are there to help guide you.

Just like the kids, your soul can’t wait until you’re, “so hot your burning up.”  How will it tell you?  You’re heart will feel so full you can’t help but share with others.

photo credit: Justin Masterson via photo pin cc

Kids Are Great!

I’m a judge for a kid’s essay contest about their favorite summer memory.  I learned something reading through the essays.  Kids are fearless in sharing their talents.

What happens to all that passion when you grow up?

Have you put them aside for something safe?  I hear you, “But Jen I have to pay my bills, support my family, send the kids to college.  What other choice do I have?”

I contemplated this over vacation a lot.  Which is better?  Following your passions and using your talents or playing it safe?

Most of us want to say follow your passions, but yet when you look at your life, are you really following your passions or have you buried them for when you retire?

Stepping Out of the Norm to Follow Your Passion

Following your passion and using your talents is scary first because you’re stepping away from the norm.  Others don’t always like that.  Your family might pressure you to “get a real job,” or “that’s a nice hobby dear, but will it pay the bills?”

Then there’s your own self doubt which is rooted in old family beliefs, your perception of society and/or other experiences.

Besides that, you’ve probably buried your talents for so long, you don’t believe they exist any more.  A friend told me she loved to paint in high school, but hasn’t painted since.  When I asked her why, her response was, “I could never be a Picasso and besides I probably wasn’t that good anyway.”

Did you hear that?  Yep, that was the sound of another shovel of dirt burying her talent deeper.

If you want to be happy, you need to excavate your talents.  Maybe you won’t start your own business right away, or sell your first painting for a million dollars, but it’s time to brush off the layers of dust and rediscover what you love.

Let’s Rediscover Your Passions Together

I want to be your cheerleader this Fall.  I want to help you find your passion, explore the past, uncover those talents and bring them into the daylight.

Every week I’ll be writing an article about this journey.  I encourage you to join me.  This can be a place to share experiences, voice fears and find the support you need to become a kid again.

Let’s start here.  What are some things you loved to do as a kid?  Jump in and share in the comments below.

photo credit: fauxto_dkp via flickr

It’s Just Not Working

You wake up for the 100th day and feel what’s the use.  It’s just not working.

You try your best, but all efforts seem thwarted.  Nothing ever seems to work out in your favor.  You look at others in similar situations and have to admit you’re  a bit jealous.  How come they can do it and you can’t?

Have You Settled?

I know you are very smart and creative, even if you don’t think so right now.  I know you have infinite potential.  What I also hear is you’ve put those on the back burner and settled for mundane.

That’s why it’s not working.  Whatever it is for you changing careers, painting, photography, raising kids, growing tomatoes or building a business, when you are stuck in a rut, nothing will work.  Think about it, you’ll never make it to your destination always traveling in the ditches on the side of the road.

Ruts might look different than you think.  When I think of a rut, it means doing the same thing over and over, an unending routine.  But a rut could be always going to the same source for inspiration or trying “new” ways of doing things that are just variations of what you’ve done in the past.

If you run off the side of the road, you know you’re off track because you slow down or can’t move.  The same happens in your life.  When things slow down, you’ve hit a ditch/rut/whatever you want to call it.

What do you do?

You need to step outside of the rut, outside of your comfort zone to see things differently.  Here’s a list of 50 ideas to get yourself out of a rut and back on the road.

1. Read a completely new author.
2. Drive a different way home from the office.
3. Ask for advice from a source you admire, but have never approached.
4. Go to the art museum.
5. Listen to new music.
6. Take a course that interests you, but has nothing to do with your rut.
7. Schedule a personal day and go somewhere you’ve never been, but that’s close to home.
8. Go to the ocean or mountains.
9. Visit a cathedral.
10. Take a yoga class.
11. Go for a long hike.
12. Meet an old friend for lunch.
13. Follow an unconventional idea you have even if your rational brain says it’s silly.
14. Journal.
15. Spend the afternoon with small children or animals.
16. Volunteer to read to kids or at your local animal shelter.
17. Plant seeds and watch the unfolding life process.
18. Choose a book, audio book or movie that you haven’t seen that captures your eye without thinking too much about it.
19. Make dinner for someone who can’t and deliver it.
20. Read an inspiring biography.
21. Move furniture in the house.
22. Take a nap.
23. House sit for someone.
24. Read a quote or inspirational paragraph and think about it during the day.
25. Sit in a different seat at a meeting.
26. Let someone else cook tonight.
27. Work from home if usually in an office, or in an office if usually at home.
28. Buy a magazine and rip out your favorite pictures.
29. Join Pinterest and find pictures that inspire.
30. Create a vision board.
31. Job shadow someone doing your ideal job.
32. Interview people in places you want to be and write an article/blog about the interview.
33. Find 2 blogs that inspire you and read them regularly for a month.
34. Take a long ride.
35. Do something artistic even if you don’t think you’re artistic (paint, take photos, sketch).
36. Take a vacation in a new place.
37. Go for a run.
38. Read a book you loved as a kid.
39. Write a letter to yourself as if it were next year at this time and tell you what’s going on.
40. Get rid of clutter.
41. Take a test drive in a car you want to buy.
42. Put all your knick knacks in a storage bin and live without them for a week or so.
43. Wash your sheets and hang them outside to dry.
44. Go see live music.  Choose something you wouldn’t normally listen to; jazz, classical, celtic.
45. Go on a picnic.
46. Sit in the sun for an hour.
47. Change the pictures on your walls.
48. Go to a farmers market.
49. Visit people in an assisted living home.
50. Hug someone you love.

Doing any of these small things can help you course correct.  The key is doing something completely new to stimulate new thoughts and ideas.  Soon you’ll find yourself out of your rut and heading down the road in a new convertible.

I’m sure you have ideas of your own.  What do you do to get things moving again?

photo credit: blinkingidiot via flickr

Get out and live your life fearlessly.  Anita Moorjani

Imagine 24 hours of living fearlessly.  I don’t meet throwing caution to the wind, but truly living 24 hours without feeling fear.

You might say, “I don’t really live in fear now so that would be easy.”  That’s what I thought.

It’s More About the Small Fears

Everyone has big fears.  It’s what you worry about.  Will your kids turn out okay?  What if you’re laid off?  How well are your parents?  Will there be a war?  Will you get that big client?

I realize these big thoughts can dominate your life.  It was, however, the small fears like what people will think if you eat that doughnut, paying a bill, keeping the house clean just in case people stop by, or worrying if you’ll make the team that make up many of your routine thoughts.

These small thoughts creep into your consciousness.  Over time, they become part of your daily thought process.  Sitting in the background, you don’t even notice them any more.

Anita Let Go Of Fear

In Anita Moorjani’s book, Dying To Be Me,  she talks about a near death experience.  Throughout her life small fears had shaped her world.  She always strove to fit in, and never felt she did.  After her experience, she learned, life is not about fitting in.  It’s about letting go of all fear and living in love or “being love” as she describes it.

Louise Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, talks about fear being one of the four top reasons people develop illnesses.  By holding onto fear whether we developed them or were handed them by others, we only hurt ourselves.

How To Let Go Of Fear

Because you might not recognize the smaller fears at first, it’s easier to start with something you can name as a fear.  I’ll use the example of Maisie’s training.

I feared Maisie going crazy when she saw other dogs on our walks.  It stopped me from taking her places, walking during certain times or even allowing her outside.

Working with our trainer, Nancy, she brought a dog to walk with Maisie.  My first reaction was to pull Maisie back.  It was then I realized it was my behavior, my fear, that caused Maisie to act out.

Releasing this fear came in a couple steps.

• Recognize and own the fear.  Give the fear a name or a picture.  Then own it.  Know it’s all about you and no one else.
• Visualize the situation.  Visualize the situation that you fear.  Then change the picture.  Imagine you have no fear at all.  It’s all working out fine.  Send love to the thing you fear, for me it was the other dogs.
• Practice.  Whenever you’re in the situation, go back to the good visualization.  Practice living that new visualization in real time.
• Love yourself.  The first couple times I had Maisie out on a walk, I didn’t prepare as much as I should.  We encountered a dog.  I tensed up.  Maisie barked.  Then I did something different, instead of telling myself I failed, I congratulated myself on trying.  I didn’t judge.  Instead said I loved and approved of myself.  This practice was perfect in what I knew so far.

The last step is the most important because it’s where you’ll make it or break it.  The typical pattern I see in people is to scold themselves after not meeting their own expectations (or others). This feeds the fear.

By not judging and sending myself love, it was like shining a light into a dark room.  The fear shrunk away.  I was ready for the next dog to come along in a good way.  It didn’t feel like I was going into battle (fear), but instead another opportunity to practice (love).

You Choose.

Every moment of every day, you get to choose whether you’ll live in fear or love.  The natural choice is to live in love, so choose it.  Wherever you are in your journey, always choose love.