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Healing In The Midst of Craziness

After a week that felt turned upside down, Friday I had an amazing healing experience.

I was part of a wonderful drumming circle where we not only got messages for ourselves, but sent healing and compassion out to the world.  There were only a few of us in the room, yet the power and energy created was magical.

Getting Back to Normal

If you’ve been through a deeply spiritual experience; a birth, a death, a healing you know how hard it is to “get back to normal.”  I’ll never forget when my mom passed away 5 years ago, how surreal the world felt after the funeral.  The next day everyone seemed to get back into their routine.  I, however, wasn’t sure what that was any more.

I had the same experience about a year after that coming back from a retreat in Sedona.  Integrating back into the physical world was hard, like coming back from a very long vacation and feeling a bit disoriented.  All the crazy to do’s you had before the trip, don’t mean much when you get home.

That’s how I’m feeling this weekend.  Yesterday I felt lost.  What I read on social networks seemed trite.  What I saw on television very flat.  Nothing had a lot of meaning.

The Healing Process: Figuring Out Normal Again

This is normal.  It’s part of the healing process.

When you have a life changing experience, you are given the opportunity to recreate your normal.  It’s one of the only times, you naturally can change a value or priority in your life.

If you’re feeling out of sorts, that’s okay.  Know that you’re just trying to figure out what normal is.

Let Go Of What’s Not Important

Treasure this time instead of fear it.  Don’t jump back into the same routine.  This is time for you to heal more than just what’s happened in your life.  It’s a time when you can heal so much more.

If your life doesn’t allow downtime, notice how things feel.  If they feel out of place, then try to remove them.

For example I’d been wanting to give up coffee for a while, but wasn’t able to make progress.  After the events here in Boston, I just stopped.  It didn’t seem to fit any more in my life.

Notice what now feels forced.  If it was something you wanted to let go before but you couldn’t, now may be the time.

Becoming Sound and Healthy Again

Healing means to become sound and healthy again.  If that means giving up things that didn’t serve the sound and healthy lifestyle you desire, now is a good time to let go.  You’re psyche is ready.

Additional note:

I thought I would share the reaction to the healing session we had from the owner of Andeva Wellness who organized the event.

When I looked around I looked into the people that where here today. I did not see their clothes, or
hair, their possessions or even if they were male or female. Instead, I was present to who they were on
a soulful level. We had an Eagle Sore, a multi-generation of beautiful yellow light grace us, a group of
spirits flying with their white lights and the amazing presence of Jesus himself illuminated our circle. We,
as a group, intended to reach far beyond Andeva Wellness Center with our prayers and our healing and
we did. When put together as a collective whole it is amazing what can transpire. There was also a group
healing that occurred simply because it was needed in the moment. Being connected and feeling the
light work through you, but not because of you, knowing you are a vessel for what is possible, is truly
doing God’s work. When one has the opportunity to be a part of something so special your perspective
changes forever. One starts to know what is possible and creates a space for more Light and Love to
enter. I am forever grateful to be on the journey that I am on and also for all the amazing and wonderful
souls that are sent to share my journey. Continue to grow, be open and search for a soul near you today.

photo credit: neilconway via flickr

No Plans To Sabotage

You set your goals for the year.  They felt doable and just right in January.

Now you’re starting to see the results.  You have new clients, you’ve lost 5 pounds, you’ve been accepted into the certification program.

Check-in.  How do you feel?

Success is a crazy thing.  At the beginning it’s nothing but an idea.  You’re happy when you think about it. When it starts to manifest, it can freak you out.

Whether you call it a fear of success, fear of change, or fear of failure, there’s one common thread, you’re afraid of what’s happening because it feels strange.

Self Sabotage – Repelling Success

Worse of all, you start to repel this success.  Unconsciously you self sabotage your success.  If you’re trying to lose 10 lbs, when you’ve lost 5 you “reward” yourself with ice cream.  Then it spirals out of control.

In your business, you want to increase sales.  You set your goals for the year then get to work.  You contact new prospects, have meetings, do more presentations.  Your calendar, once under control, now has very little white space.  When you look at the week ahead you moan and groan about being so busy.

Not only that, you start to complain when you’re with others.

Stop!

Complaining is a form of self sabotage.   Just like the bowl of ice cream, it will set you back from achieving your goal.

Why Do You Self Sabotage?

Everyone has comfort zones.  It feels right to to stay within its boundaries.  When you start to stretch outside the zone, you create an internal feeling of anxiety that, if not recognized, manifests as sabotage.

You aren’t doing it to be mean to yourself.  Your brain is trying to get you “back to where you belong.”  Your new state might be better for you physically or financially, but your brain doesn’t know that yet.

What’s A Person To Do?

The best thing to do is when you open up the freezer or hear yourself complain, stop.  Recognize this is anxiety.  Replace the need for ice cream or complaining with the vision of you 10 pounds lighter or with your bonus check.

By refocusing on your goal, you implant pictures of the future into your brain.  In essence, you’re telling your brain what the future looks like.  Once it accepts this as your new reality, the stress and anxiety go away.

Don’t Give Up

Review your goals every day.  Keep them in front of you.  Know why you want to achieve them.  Then take small steps in that direction.  Soon you’ll be setting new goals and achieving them faster.

Authentic Reflection

I may not be as thin as a model,

As smart as a scientist,

As business savvy as an analyst.

But…

I am the best me there is.

What others see as flaws,

I see as beauty.

What others doubt,

I dream.

I may not meet your expectations.

That’s okay.

Your expectations are your thoughts not mine.

I’m the best me there will ever be, every day.

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Check out our Trust Your Brilliance Workshops where busy people are re-connecting with what’s important in their lives.

Not one in your area? Email me to see how we can set up one for your group.

I’ve been listening closely to you and here’s a question, do you believe in yourself?

Outwardly your words say yes, but it’s what you’re saying inside that matters.  What is that?

Do you praise yourself for a job well done, or criticize for not doing better?

Do you encourage yourself to take risks, or squash those thoughts because they are too dangerous?

Do you spend all your time supporting other’s dreams there’s no time to think about your own?

Believe In Yourself

Believing in yourself is one of the most important things you can do.  Without it you become an empty shell.  Nothing seems relevant and good fortune seems to avoid you.

Try giving yourself a pep talk throughout the day.  When a negative thought surfaces, don’t pay attention, instead use that to prompt a pat on the back.

You Deserve To Believe In Yourself

You deserve all the accolades you give others.  You deserve to be loved.  You deserve abundance.  You deserve happiness.  You deserve to live your dreams every day.

So why not start today with a simple affirmation from Louise Hay, “I love and accept myself.”  Repeat that throughout the day.

What If I Make A Mistake?

If you do make what you call a mistake, notice how saying “I love and approve of myself” refocuses you back on the behaviors instead of beating yourself up. Those mistakes soon become the lessons they were intended to be rather than an excuse to make yourself feel bad.

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Check out our Trust Your Brilliance Workshops where busy people are re-connecting with what’s important in their lives.

Not one in your area? Email me to see how we can set up one for your group.

photo credit: digitalmagicphotos via flickr

Being your own boss is tough.  You’re harder on yourself than any boss you’d ever work for.  Don’t you agree?

To add to your plate, you need to take care of your family and you.  24 hours isn’t enough to get it all right.

I find myself saying, “I should have…” or “I should do…”  Do you have the same dialogue?

What Does Should Mean?

I looked up the definition of should online.

“Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions: “he should have been careful”.

When you criticize your actions, you’re judging.  You’ve slapped a label on yourself, compared yourself to a standard and for most of you told yourselves how badly you’re doing.  Not a pretty picture.

What If You Changed Your Perspective?

What if you believed you were perfect just the way you are?  What if you loved rather than criticized yourself?

Love is the most powerful force on this planet.  When you open your heart to love, negativity evaporates.  Love is like the small light at the end of the tunnel drawing you toward it.

Business and Love

Some say business and love don’t mix.

I believe the definition of a successful business is when the functions of business are combined with love, respect, authenticity, and open communication.

Life and Love

In the same way, I believe a fully realized life is when you love yourself.

How do you know if you love yourself?  Your default isn’t to criticize.  You accept yourself exactly where you are.  You don’t feel the need to change yourself to fit an accepted pattern.

When you start to live consciously in love every day, miracles happen.  You are grateful for all that’s in your life.  You feel alive in the moment.

Sounds like a pretty good way to live and run a business doesn’t it.

No More Should

If you find yourself using the words should, have to, want, change them to I am, I choose to, I desire.  These baby steps will move from criticizing and judging to loving and accepting.

Are you ready to give up should?

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…become aware that you already posses all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. – Sarah Ban Breathnach

A Packet Of Seeds

I was a t the local garden center the other day and they had tons of seeds and bulbs.  I got all excited and bought some herb seeds.  Spring is on it’s way.

When I got home, I dug out my planters from last year, filled them with potting soil, sprinkled the seeds over top and watered them.

Then I walked away.

Seeds Are So Smart

I didn’t go back and push and prod the seeds to grow faster.  I didn’t dig them up and put them in “better” soil.  Nope.  Just let them do their thing.  They’ve got it all figured out.

It’s the same with us.  You have all you need to achieve your dreams within you.

Don’t Wait for Change…Create Change

Cliche, I know, but true.  That’s what Sarah is reminding us of today.  Instead of waiting for some external force to create change, why not choose to change in the direction of your dreams.

Many people come to me when they are in transition caused by an outside source.  They are scared and confused.  The work we do together allows them to tap into the wealth of knowledge they have within.  They tap into those seed dreams and start to water them.  With time a patience they sprout new leaves and branches they never knew they had before.

It’s scary to admit to yourself that you have the power to make whatever you desire come to pass.  As Sarah talks about today, you can become complacent and let external forces create the change in your life or you can take back the reins and drive your life.

I’ve come to choose the later.  How about you?

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Want to work together to start planting the seeds of your dreams and goals, email me for a free consultation.

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You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important. ~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help

I watched The Help with my sister a couple years ago.  I loved the opening scene where Aibileen repeats these simple affirmations to the little girl she cares for.

How awesome would it be to have someone whispering, “You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important” in your ear.  This started me thinking about affirmations.

In the scene, you get the feeling that Aibileen is reminding the child of these traits so she wouldn’t forget them in the shadow of her uncaring mother.

The Child’s Experience  

Now let’s think like the little girl.  What do you think she heard? Since kids that young can only think in the present, she would hear, “I am kind.  I am smart.  I am important.”  That’s a much different perspective.

When you learn to use affirmations, you are taught to think about what you want in the future.

The Tricky Part Of Affirmations

I’ve been using affirmations for years.  Sometimes they work and other times they didn’t.  When they didn’t I figured I wasn’t trying hard enough.  The Help reminded me of another reason.

Affirmations based on future results can cause the opposite result because unconsciously you don’t believe them.  The affirmation focuses your attention on the gap between where you are and where you want to be.  The more you repeat it, the bigger the gap.

Aibileen’s Lesson

Aibileen taught me, yes you can have affirmations based on the future, but you need to look at the present to make them real.  For example if your affirmation is,  ”I am successful,”  you need to focus on where you are successful right now.

Bringing your affirmation to the present moment, you build its power.  You attach it to real life examples.  Now your rational brain can accept it as truth.  The more you do this, the more true the affirmation becomes now and for the future.

Affirmation Activity

If you’re struggling sitting there thinking of examples, pull out a piece of paper.  Write your affirmation at the top.  Then write down all the examples of how you’ve already demonstrated the affirmation.  If you’re affirmation is you are successful, write down all the ways you are successful.

Now when you repeat your affirmation, your left brain accepts it and allows it easier passage to the right brain where it will live and grow.

You is kind.  You is smart. You is important.

Take Aibileen’s lesson to heart.  Learn to bring your affirmations into the future so you can feel them.  And always remember, You is kind. You is smart.  You is important.

Maisie taking it easy.

Maisie’s Rituals

Maisie, my dog, follows me everywhere, except the bathroom.  She follows me to the door and then waits  patiently outside until I’m done.  When I blow dry my hair, she waits in the bedroom (see above).  I think it’s the noise.

Yesterday when I was drying my hair, I was surprised to see the door nudge open.  Maisie poked her face around the corner as if to say, “Can I come in?”

I opened the door more and invited her in.  I wanted to see what she would do.

She carefully stepped into the bathroom, made her way next to me, and sat very still while I dried my hair.

Maisie’s New Year’s Resolution

Maisie is afraid of lots of things.  I think Maisie’s New Year’s Resolution was to face her fears.

She didn’t announce her resolution to the world.  She didn’t put it on Facebook.  She didn’t blog about it.  Instead,  she made up her mind to start change a behavior without telling a soul, even me.

A Lesson From Maisie

This time of year is full of good intentions.

You exclaim your resolution to the world, sign up for a gym membership and tell everyone you aren’t eating carbs any more.

There are two schools of thought on this.  The first is do it.  Tell the world.  As John Assaraf said in a recent Facebook post, “Let them cheer you on.”

The other school of thought is to keep your resolution to yourself.  Celebrate your own victories.  It’s only you you have to convince anyway.  If others notice, great, but you’re doing this for you.

I Choose Not To Tell

I’m of the second opinion.  I know I wrote about my intentions for the new year, but I didn’t specify my goals or what they look like.  That’s for me to know and you to find out.

Maisie did the same thing.  She kept her resolution to herself.  She quietly started to change her behavior.  No fan fare.

Your Fans Or Critics

The reason I believe keeping your resolution to yourself is others may not be happy about your changes.  When you make life shifts, they don’t want you to change.  They like things to stay the same.

Sometimes, they sabotage you without knowing it.  Perhaps it’s pulling you away from your book that you resolved to read every night.  Or asking if you want to go to dinner at your favorite restaurant when you’ve just started your diet.

These acts of sabotage aren’t done with bad intent.  They just want to get back to normal.  You probably do this to others as well.  I know I have.

Find The Right Support

If you don’t think you can accomplish your resolution by yourself, by all means find support.  Join Weight Watchers, hire a personal trainer, join a gym, work with a coach or join a book club.  All of these are unbiased support systems.  These folks will help, support and guide you.  They want you to change.

Once you find the right support, don’t go posting your results on Facebook or Twitter.  Although tempting to get the kudos from your adoring fans, it’s short lived.  Instead journal about your progress.  Tell yourself you did a great job.  It’s not about what others think, it’s about what you think.

Resolution or Staying Warm?

So take a tip from Maisie this year.  Keep your resolution to yourself.  When others in your life ask you why you’re acting different, just say its the new year and leave it at that.

Now that I think about it, I may have read a bit too much into Maisie’s actions yesterday as my dog trainer, Nancy Bradley, would say.

Perhaps all she wanted was to get warm.  Oh well.

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Need some support with your resolution?

Check out Life Simplified for options that might work for you.

The point of power is always in the present moment. ~ Louise Hay

Such a simple message, but so profound. 

Last night after dinner while watching tv with my father, I noticed him muttering to himself so I asked him what he was thinking about.

He said, “I’m trying to figure out how this month will play out.”  He’s been going through chemo.  Although he has this month’s schedule he felt it necessary to obsess over all the details for nearly a half an hour.  That’s a lot of moments.

The power of the moment.

Each moment we have the ability to change our future.  We can impact the life of another.  We can love.

What you choose to do with your moment is up to you, but here’s a couple things that won’t help:

• Dwelling on the past – for the past doesn’t exist any more.
• Worrying about the future – it will come no matter what.

Avoiding the present.

As I watch my father age, I notice he spends less and less time in the present.  The past is an old friend he wraps around himself especially when he’s sick.  The future is uncertain and he fears it.

I know I can’t change my father’s thinking.  That’s up to him.  What I do know is that I can choose to live in the moment.

In each moment I can focus on my intentions.  Is it to bring more love?  Then I will do that.  Is it to experience abundance?  Then I will do that.  Is it to be true to myself?  Then that’s what I’ll do.

Where is your focus?

Claim your point of power now.  No matter what your situation, when you strip away all the shoulds, you own each moment.  Gobble it up!