Authentic Reflection

I may not be as thin as a model,

As smart as a scientist,

As business savvy as an analyst.

But…

I am the best me there is.

What others see as flaws,

I see as beauty.

What others doubt,

I dream.

I may not meet your expectations.

That’s okay.

Your expectations are your thoughts not mine.

I’m the best me there will ever be, every day.

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Check out our Trust Your Brilliance Workshops where busy people are re-connecting with what’s important in their lives.

Not one in your area? Email me to see how we can set up one for your group.

photo credit: arnold | inuyaki via photo pincc

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs

Passionate About Cooking

Last night my sister cooked dinner for our family and some friends.  There’s an unwritten rule when you go to dinner at Julie’s, be prepared for the experiment.

We all know there will be dishes served that she’s never cooked before.  Last night was a delectable collection of noshes ranging from a hummus layered dip to individual bread bowls filled with clam chowder.  With each course, the ooooo’s ahhhh’s from the crowd inspired even the pickiest of eaters to try a nibble.

My sister loves to cook.  You feel her joy as she proudly pulls a carbonara pizza from the oven with sizzling bacon and oozing egg yolks.  Some might dread cooking for 12, but not Julie.  It’s her passion that makes what you might think as work, come across as art.

The Recipe For A Happy Life

Here’s her recipe for a happy life…Love what you do, live passionately and “have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”  The right combination of these ingredients guarantees a full life.

Are you living your passions?

I hear you moaning about how you want to live your passions…but….

Don’t Listen to the Noise

There are no buts.  Everyone has difficulties in their lives, challenges you need to face.  The only way to live a full happy life is to follow Steve Job’s advice – “Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

When you think you can’t, remember you can.  When you think someone might not like what you need to do, do it anyway.  When you think what will others think, say who cares.

The only way to live a full and happy life is to be true to who you are and express it in everything you do.

That noise, Jobs talked about, will be loud at first.  Instead of listening to it, but on your favorite music and dance around the living room.

Filled to the Brim (and smiling all the way!)

I’m stuffed with all the good food from last night.  It’s not just my stomach that’s full, however, my sister fed our hearts with her love and passion.  Begin this fall doing the same in your life.

How do you live your passions?  Share them below.

Oh By The Way…Here’s the recipe for the Carbonara Pizza.  Great for a chilly night or a fun brunch.

Carbonara Pizza

1 pizza dough (your favorite recipe, fresh from the grocery store or try your local pizzeria)

1/2 lb bacon cut into 1/2 inch strips

1 cup heavy cream – reduced to 1/2 cup and cooled

1/2 cup mozzarella cheese (we used fresh) cut up or shredded

1/4 cup Romano cheese shredded.

2-4 eggs

Salt & Pepper

Corn meal for dusting

Cook the bacon until it’s about half way done (the microwave works well for this).  Sprinkle corn meal on a cookie sheet.  Stretch pizza dough to cover cookie sheet.  Let it rest for 5 minutes.

Sprinkle the dough with the mozzarella and Romano cheese.  Drizzle the cream over the cheese.  Add bacon.  Cook in a 450 degree oven for about 8-10 minutes.  Take out the pizza.  Crack 2-4 eggs over the pizza.  Sprinkle with salt and freshly ground pepper.  Return to the oven for another 3-4 minutes or until golden brown.  You want the eggs to set, but not become firm.

Take the pizza out of the oven.  Drag a knife through the eggs spreading the yolk over the pizza.

Serve while warm.

Yummm

photo credit: blinkingidiot via flickr

Get out and live your life fearlessly.  Anita Moorjani

Imagine 24 hours of living fearlessly.  I don’t meet throwing caution to the wind, but truly living 24 hours without feeling fear.

You might say, “I don’t really live in fear now so that would be easy.”  That’s what I thought.

It’s More About the Small Fears

Everyone has big fears.  It’s what you worry about.  Will your kids turn out okay?  What if you’re laid off?  How well are your parents?  Will there be a war?  Will you get that big client?

I realize these big thoughts can dominate your life.  It was, however, the small fears like what people will think if you eat that doughnut, paying a bill, keeping the house clean just in case people stop by, or worrying if you’ll make the team that make up many of your routine thoughts.

These small thoughts creep into your consciousness.  Over time, they become part of your daily thought process.  Sitting in the background, you don’t even notice them any more.

Anita Let Go Of Fear

In Anita Moorjani’s book, Dying To Be Me,  she talks about a near death experience.  Throughout her life small fears had shaped her world.  She always strove to fit in, and never felt she did.  After her experience, she learned, life is not about fitting in.  It’s about letting go of all fear and living in love or “being love” as she describes it.

Louise Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, talks about fear being one of the four top reasons people develop illnesses.  By holding onto fear whether we developed them or were handed them by others, we only hurt ourselves.

How To Let Go Of Fear

Because you might not recognize the smaller fears at first, it’s easier to start with something you can name as a fear.  I’ll use the example of Maisie’s training.

I feared Maisie going crazy when she saw other dogs on our walks.  It stopped me from taking her places, walking during certain times or even allowing her outside.

Working with our trainer, Nancy, she brought a dog to walk with Maisie.  My first reaction was to pull Maisie back.  It was then I realized it was my behavior, my fear, that caused Maisie to act out.

Releasing this fear came in a couple steps.

• Recognize and own the fear.  Give the fear a name or a picture.  Then own it.  Know it’s all about you and no one else.
• Visualize the situation.  Visualize the situation that you fear.  Then change the picture.  Imagine you have no fear at all.  It’s all working out fine.  Send love to the thing you fear, for me it was the other dogs.
• Practice.  Whenever you’re in the situation, go back to the good visualization.  Practice living that new visualization in real time.
• Love yourself.  The first couple times I had Maisie out on a walk, I didn’t prepare as much as I should.  We encountered a dog.  I tensed up.  Maisie barked.  Then I did something different, instead of telling myself I failed, I congratulated myself on trying.  I didn’t judge.  Instead said I loved and approved of myself.  This practice was perfect in what I knew so far.

The last step is the most important because it’s where you’ll make it or break it.  The typical pattern I see in people is to scold themselves after not meeting their own expectations (or others). This feeds the fear.

By not judging and sending myself love, it was like shining a light into a dark room.  The fear shrunk away.  I was ready for the next dog to come along in a good way.  It didn’t feel like I was going into battle (fear), but instead another opportunity to practice (love).

You Choose.

Every moment of every day, you get to choose whether you’ll live in fear or love.  The natural choice is to live in love, so choose it.  Wherever you are in your journey, always choose love.

Part of the Life Simplified Garden

Love who you are, what you are and what you do.  Laugh at yourself and at life.  Louise Hay

My Garden

Last weekend I planted my annual herb garden.  This year I’m also trying my hand at tomatoes, zucchini, peppers, spinach, salad greens and summer squash.

Planting each seed and seedling, reminded me of how I’d once again stopped doing my inner work.

The meditative work of planting my garden, reminded me of life’s simple law.  Plant seeds.  Care for them.  Tend to the weeds.  In the end you’ll be rewarded with the seed’s unique gift.

The same is true for our personal and professional inner work.

What Mental Seeds Are You Planting?

If you plant a tomato seed, you don’t expect a zucchini.  Yet every day you the mental seed of I’m not worthy and expect love.  Spend 24 hours monitoring your thoughts.  They are subtle, so listen carefully.

What do you say to yourself if you are running late?  What do you say to yourself if a bill comes and there is no money in the bank?  What do you say to yourself when those summer clothes are tighter than last year or you have to put on your bathing suit for the first time?

Are those seeds you want to grow in your inner garden? I thought so.

I Love And Approve Of Myself

One of the most powerful, yet simple affirmations I use I learned from Louise Hay, “I love and approve of myself.”  When I decide to plant this seed rather than other negative seeds, I find life, personally and professionally, takes on a whole different hue.

Imagine walking into a situation saying, “I’m fat.  No one wants to talk to me because I’m so boring.”  Got it.  Now imagine the same situation and instead you’re saying, “I love and approve of myself.”  Can you feel the difference?When I do this work with clients, I see them sit up straighter, smile and relax.

Tend To Your Garden Daily

If you’re a gardener or just have a few herbs from the grocery store on the windowsill, try planting this mental seed while you’re tending your garden.

As you water your garden, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”  As you weed your garden, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”   As you smile with pride over your first tomato, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”  

You can certainly repeat the affirmation other times as well.  The garden just gives you some time to meditate the feeling of the affirmation.

By connecting this practice with your garden, you’ll find you’re not just reaping tomatoes this summer.

You will see the little miracles occur in your life.  The things you are ready to eliminate will go of their own accord.  The things and events you want will pop up in your life seemingly out of the blue.  you will get bonuses you never imagined! ~ Louise Hay

photo credit: kazzpoint0 via flickr

Often – even when you believe you are thinking about something that you desire – you are actually things about the exact opposite of what you desire.  In other words, “I want to be well; I don’t want to be sick.”  ”I want to have financial security; I don’t want to experience a shortage of money.”  ”I want the perfect relationship to come to me; I don’t want to be alone.”  ~ Abraham via Esther Hicks, Ask And It Is Given

What You Think About Comes About

You’ve heard that before.   You’ve tried to focus on what you want in your life; a new car, a soul mate, a thriving business, but things aren’t working out like you planned.

Could you be thinking about what you don’t want rather than what you do want?

Ask And It Is Given

You know what you want, but you are feeling the lack of it.  This feeling of lack focuses you on the opposite of what you desire.  For example, positive thought: “I want a new computer.”  Feeling of lack: “I can’t afford a new computer.”  Without knowing it every time you say, “I want a new computer” you are actually saying, “I don’t want one because they are too expensive.”

A New Lesson

I’ve read Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks a hundred times.  Never before did I pull out this lesson until just recently.

After my initial ah-ha moment,  I looked back on my life.  When I set goals and was positive about an outcome, I got exactly what I desired, and pretty quickly I might add.  More often than not, however, when I asked for something I unconsciously focused on the lack behind it.  In those situations I was given exactly what I asked for…more lack.

Discovering the Lack

Through this activity, I realized I’d built a habit of focusing on lack.  The key to breaking a lack focused habit is to check in with your emotions.

Here’s an example.  I’ve wanted an iPhone forever.  However, when I thought about having an iPhone, my focus was on not having one.  Even when my phone was due for an upgrade and an iPhone was an option, I didn’t get one because I came up with a dozen excuses.  I now see those excuses were coming from my thoughts of not having an iPhone rather than having one.

I felt horrible during this process.  This was my first clue I was focusing on lack.

Let Your Emotions Be Your Guide

I’m still learning to tap into my emotions as I set new goals, create new visions, and develop new plans.  When I don’t feel good, I check in to see how I’m feeling. These feelings always point to my thoughts of lack.

Listen to your emotions.  If you don’t feel good, do a check in, like I’m learning to do.  When you think about your goal, vision or plan you should feel excited and passionate…like you are standing on the brink of something very exciting.

That’s when you know you’re on the right path.

photo credit: barbtrek via flickr

Where there is great love there are always miracles. – Willa Cather

Who is your greatest love?

Did the question bring a smile to your face?  Who did you think of?  Your child.  Your husband/wife.  Your best friend.  Your sister/brother.

Who said themselves?  Go ahead raise your hand.

Loving Yourself Is The Greatest Love

Love for yourself is the cornerstone of every great love.  Without it, you can lose your sense of self, your dreams, your spark of life.  With it you find more love in everyone else.

Love Is Not Boastful

Loving yourself can sound foreign, even vain.  Let’s stop that notion right here.  Sure there are people who love themselves for the wrong reasons.  When you scratch the surface, they don’t know what love is.  They think it’s about looking good, being the best, or having the most money.  In essence, none of those matter to your inner self.

Truly loving yourself means embracing everything you are right now.  Do you look in the mirror and say, “You’re perfect just the way you are?”

Or is everything wrong?

Love Does Not Judge

Try the opposite today.  Every time you think a negative thought about yourself.  Stop in the moment.  Apologize and give yourself a little Valentine’s Day hug.  If this is hard to do, think of the person in your life who loved you unconditionally.  Imagine they are beside you all day today cheering you on.  I’ll bet by noon, you’ll feel like a different person.

Here’s another loving thing you can do for yourself.  It came from a moving meditation we did at my yoga class.

Stand up tall.  Place your hands in prayer at your heart.  Slowly reach your arms up above your head.  Continue to bring your arms around in a big circle, arching back a bit, heart toward the sky.  As you bring your arms close to your body, turn the palms up and scoop up the energy from the earth and bring it back to your heart.  Hands close in prayer at your heart. 

Put on some beautiful music and continue this flowing movement for one full song.  You’ll feel as light as a bird at the end.

Your Valentine’s Day

Let’s change the notion of Valentine’s Day to make sure in includes some self love.  A friend reminded me last night how much I love the fragrance of Star Gazer Lilies.  I plan on picking some up between appointments as a gift for myself.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  ~ Lucille Ball

I propose a toast.  Raise your champagne glass and toast the wonderful love of your life, you!

photo credit: bfhoyt via flickr

Okay, I confess…

There are a few things absolutely I LOVE.  They’re simple pleasures.  Taking time for them makes me feel whole.  Leaving them out of my life makes me feel like I’m living another person’s life.

Here’s what I’m crazy about:

• Wandering through the grocery store.  Maybe I’m trying to figure out a recipe.  Maybe I’m checking out what’s new.  The other day I wandered around a special grocery store and came out with fresh bread, wine, green mint tea, and select soy sauce.  The check out guy must have thought I was nuts.   No just happy.
• Going to the library.  Ah!  Even better than the book store because you can get as many books as you like.  On the same day I had that lovely grocery experience I meandered into the library.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  Yes, I walked out with 10 books!  But they know me there and that’s normal.

•  Writing.  Writing is like breathing for me.  If I’m not writing, I feel less alive.  It doesn’t have to be profound stuff.  Yesterday I updated an e-book and that was enough to satisfy.  I just have to write.  My goal 2000 words per day.
• Reading.  Since the beginning of the year, I’ve rediscovered my passion for reading.  No surprise because of my library addiction.  Like you, I just forget to make time.  My goal this year was a book a month.  I’m already into my fourth  book for the year (and this doesn’t include cookbooks)
• Cooking.  This is something else I “put on the back burner” when things get too busy.  I love the creative process of putting flavors together that meld into something new.  When done properly, it involves all the senses.

This exercise of discovering what you love is an important one.  Without it the result is living the life someone else wants you to live.

What do you love?  Fresh flowers?  Walks in the park?  Sun after a rain?  I would love to hear what you discover.

photo credit jimmiehomeschoolmom via flickr

Today take a real risk that can change your life: start thinking of yourself as an artist and your life as a work-in-progress.  Works-in-progress are never perfect…Art evolves.  So does life.  Art is never stagnant.  Neither is life. ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

The Artist

An artist starts with a blank canvas, page, or mound of clay.  There is only an idea.  In some cases it’s a notion or a sketch that inspires them to dip their paint brush into the bright red paint.

From there they let the design take it’s course.  They can’t plan what it will look like in the end.  They have an idea, but then allow inspiration to direct their next step.

My Writing Process

As a writer, I know I can have the best laid plans for an article, short story or even the book I’m working on.  Once my fingers start typing, however, something different almost always comes out.

I’m inspired by a quote I hadn’t read before.  A picture I hadn’t seen.  Even an email can send me in a direction I hadn’t planned.  As Stephen King writes in his book,  On Writing (One of my favorites by the way.  My copy is dogeared, highlighted and scribbled in which is why I’ve included an affiliate link):

I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves.  The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow.

This is a perfect example of that in action.  I hadn’t planned on using that quote before I started writing this article.  As the article developed, it seemed natural it should be included.

Artist In Your Life

When you accept you are the artist of your life, everything seems possible.  You’re more willing to take chances, trust your intuition and allow situations to flow into your life that a moment before seems inconceivable.

Every day you’re presented with “two roads diverged in the wood.”  It’s safer to take the road that is well worn.  It feels comfortable.  It feels safe.

It also feels unconscious.

But it never seems to be the right time.

You’ll start a family, business, new relationship once you have enough money.  You’ll spend more time with your parents, potential customers and friends when you have more time.  You’ll start writing, painting, playing the flute when you retire.

Waiting for the right time or the perfect conditions is keeping you caught the crossroads.  When you get to the intersection, you stop hesitate for a bit, then proceed down the well worn path.  There are some crossroads were you languish longer.  Even some where you might be paralyzed with the choice.

Here’s a Hint

There is no perfect time.  There are no perfect conditions.  There is only here and now.

When you get to the crossroads and pause, ask yourself, what’s the worse thing that could happen if I explored a less traveled path?  You know you want to, so go ahead and take a step, even if the time seems to be a little off.

Here’s what Joseph Campell had to say about following your bliss:

If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are—if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time

Sounds pretty good right? Who knows you may discover something great.  Here are some pointers from experienced travelers such as Wayne Dyer, Stephen King, Sarah Ban Breathnach, Oprah, Julia Cameron, Napoleon Hill, Jack Canfield, Marcia Weider, and Lynn Robinson on how to “follow your bliss:”

• Set aside quiet time every day to go within and listen.
• Trust your gut.  When you get a nudge in a direction take it.
• Commit fully to the process.
• Dedicate time.  When you show up every day it becomes the place you should be.
• Trust yourself, always.
• Learn from your mistakes.  Don’t sit around and lick your wounds.
• Your fear is only your ego trying to protect you.  Thank it and then move on.

So how will you become an artist in your own life?  Believe in yourself.  Take the first step.  Even if the path is unclear, continue to move in the direction that feels right.

photo credit: carlwwycoff via flickr

Grace: from the word gratus; pleasing, grateful ~ Merriam-Webster online dictionary

Order: methodical or harmonious arrangement ~ Dictionary.com

When my house is in order, I feel liberated now I know why reading the definition.  “Harmonious arrangement.”  I love that definition.  Order allows for grace to enter.  I then feel grateful for what is.

Where is all this coming from?

Today Sarah talks about “A Sense of Order: Cultivating Contentment.”  How women especially can be overwhelmed by their surroundings when chaos ensues, and who of you out there doesn’t have a touch of chaos in your life.

Order.  It doesn’t have the Puritanical “should” attached to it.  It doesn’t feel perfect.  Instead it feels softer.  Aligned.  Flowing.  Graceful.

Yes I’m babbling.

I may be babbling this morning, but after the holidays, it’s nice to feel a little order and grace.  Perhaps because yesterday was a simplification day, I feel re-energized in my office.  It isn’t perfect, but it feels pulled together.

If you feel constantly adrift but don’t know why, be willing to explore the role that order – or the lack of it – plays in your life. ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach.

I admit.  I like when things are in order.  I also admit I let them stray a bit.  Today I’m simply reminded of the grace and peace order can bring.  I feel as though I can breath.

What brings order to my life?

• A clean desk
• Empty inboxes
• A clean kitchen
• Laundry complete (and put away)
• Soup simmering on the stove
• The absence of clutter

What brings order and grace to your home, office, life?

photo credit: 21560098@N06 via flickr

What do you love?

Not what are you supposed to love, what the media says to love, but really what warms the cockles of your heart?

For me it’s writing, reading, baking, cooking scrumptious things, tapping into my intuition for my business, helping clients achieve their goals, a quiet walk in the woods, the ocean, the mountains, speaking to groups, teaching, and so much more.

I’m focusing a lot on these this year.  As I set my goals and focus on my dreams, I want them aligned with what I love.  Originally, that’s why I started Life Simplified.  I wanted to do work that meant something to me personally, not what a corporate office dictated.

It can be harder than you think.

It’s harder than you think to first identify what you love, then integrate it into your daily live and work.

Life Simplified will be 5 years old in 2012.  When I look over the last 5 years there have been times when I definitely focused on what I loved to do.  Then there were times I didn’t.

The difference was when I focused on what I loved to do, the customers came willingly.  I didn’t have to do much and they were knocking on my door.  When I forced something I really didn’t want to do, not only did it feel yucky, but I never felt I did my best work.

Oh yeah, those were also the times I financially struggled.  I had to “convince” people to work with me.  As a small business person you always have to market yourself, but when you start to feel like a used car sales person, it’s time to re-evaluate.

My shift

Last year I started to make the shift.  Sometimes it was profitable.  Other times, I think I lost my confidence and the profits dried up.

This year, although I doubted a bit during December, I’m back to fully believing I can integrate what I love to do into my business.  One of the things I love is intuitive coaching sessions.

Intuitive coaching sessions are focused on the person’s needs, but I tap into the thoughts and insights that come to me during the session.  There isn’t a system or process we follow.  Instead we move organically through the process.  The results with these clients have been amazing.  They’ve opened up channels that never existed or completed things they never thought would happen.

How can you integrate what you love into what you do every day?

Even if you don’t have a business, you can still integrate what you love into what you do every day.  Here are a few tips to get started:

• Know what you love.  Sounds simple, but I’ll be this takes a while.  Take some time and make a list of 100 things, the smaller the better, you love.
• Integrate one thing at a time.  It’s human nature to want the whole list at once.  Instead chose one small thing you love.  Integrate it into your schedule next week.  Make a commitment to making it happen.  Continue to integrate items from your list.
• Notice which make you the happiest.  You’ll find some make you happier than others.  Start to make those things regular parts of your schedule, job or business.
• Journal.  I think there’s nothing more powerful than a daily journal.   Journal throughout this year to discover things you love you may have forgotten about.

From my last post, I need to continue to believe I am an intuitive advisor, writer, speaker and teacher so I can become more of one this year.

What is one thing you want to do this year that totally taps into what you love and your natural strengths.  Share here and we’ll start supporting each other.