photo credit: sweetonveg via flickr

Healing In The Midst of Craziness

After a week that felt turned upside down, Friday I had an amazing healing experience.

I was part of a wonderful drumming circle where we not only got messages for ourselves, but sent healing and compassion out to the world.  There were only a few of us in the room, yet the power and energy created was magical.

Getting Back to Normal

If you’ve been through a deeply spiritual experience; a birth, a death, a healing you know how hard it is to “get back to normal.”  I’ll never forget when my mom passed away 5 years ago, how surreal the world felt after the funeral.  The next day everyone seemed to get back into their routine.  I, however, wasn’t sure what that was any more.

I had the same experience about a year after that coming back from a retreat in Sedona.  Integrating back into the physical world was hard, like coming back from a very long vacation and feeling a bit disoriented.  All the crazy to do’s you had before the trip, don’t mean much when you get home.

That’s how I’m feeling this weekend.  Yesterday I felt lost.  What I read on social networks seemed trite.  What I saw on television very flat.  Nothing had a lot of meaning.

The Healing Process: Figuring Out Normal Again

This is normal.  It’s part of the healing process.

When you have a life changing experience, you are given the opportunity to recreate your normal.  It’s one of the only times, you naturally can change a value or priority in your life.

If you’re feeling out of sorts, that’s okay.  Know that you’re just trying to figure out what normal is.

Let Go Of What’s Not Important

Treasure this time instead of fear it.  Don’t jump back into the same routine.  This is time for you to heal more than just what’s happened in your life.  It’s a time when you can heal so much more.

If your life doesn’t allow downtime, notice how things feel.  If they feel out of place, then try to remove them.

For example I’d been wanting to give up coffee for a while, but wasn’t able to make progress.  After the events here in Boston, I just stopped.  It didn’t seem to fit any more in my life.

Notice what now feels forced.  If it was something you wanted to let go before but you couldn’t, now may be the time.

Becoming Sound and Healthy Again

Healing means to become sound and healthy again.  If that means giving up things that didn’t serve the sound and healthy lifestyle you desire, now is a good time to let go.  You’re psyche is ready.

Additional note:

I thought I would share the reaction to the healing session we had from the owner of Andeva Wellness who organized the event.

When I looked around I looked into the people that where here today. I did not see their clothes, or
hair, their possessions or even if they were male or female. Instead, I was present to who they were on
a soulful level. We had an Eagle Sore, a multi-generation of beautiful yellow light grace us, a group of
spirits flying with their white lights and the amazing presence of Jesus himself illuminated our circle. We,
as a group, intended to reach far beyond Andeva Wellness Center with our prayers and our healing and
we did. When put together as a collective whole it is amazing what can transpire. There was also a group
healing that occurred simply because it was needed in the moment. Being connected and feeling the
light work through you, but not because of you, knowing you are a vessel for what is possible, is truly
doing God’s work. When one has the opportunity to be a part of something so special your perspective
changes forever. One starts to know what is possible and creates a space for more Light and Love to
enter. I am forever grateful to be on the journey that I am on and also for all the amazing and wonderful
souls that are sent to share my journey. Continue to grow, be open and search for a soul near you today.

photo credit: neilconway via flickr

No Plans To Sabotage

You set your goals for the year.  They felt doable and just right in January.

Now you’re starting to see the results.  You have new clients, you’ve lost 5 pounds, you’ve been accepted into the certification program.

Check-in.  How do you feel?

Success is a crazy thing.  At the beginning it’s nothing but an idea.  You’re happy when you think about it. When it starts to manifest, it can freak you out.

Whether you call it a fear of success, fear of change, or fear of failure, there’s one common thread, you’re afraid of what’s happening because it feels strange.

Self Sabotage – Repelling Success

Worse of all, you start to repel this success.  Unconsciously you self sabotage your success.  If you’re trying to lose 10 lbs, when you’ve lost 5 you “reward” yourself with ice cream.  Then it spirals out of control.

In your business, you want to increase sales.  You set your goals for the year then get to work.  You contact new prospects, have meetings, do more presentations.  Your calendar, once under control, now has very little white space.  When you look at the week ahead you moan and groan about being so busy.

Not only that, you start to complain when you’re with others.

Stop!

Complaining is a form of self sabotage.   Just like the bowl of ice cream, it will set you back from achieving your goal.

Why Do You Self Sabotage?

Everyone has comfort zones.  It feels right to to stay within its boundaries.  When you start to stretch outside the zone, you create an internal feeling of anxiety that, if not recognized, manifests as sabotage.

You aren’t doing it to be mean to yourself.  Your brain is trying to get you “back to where you belong.”  Your new state might be better for you physically or financially, but your brain doesn’t know that yet.

What’s A Person To Do?

The best thing to do is when you open up the freezer or hear yourself complain, stop.  Recognize this is anxiety.  Replace the need for ice cream or complaining with the vision of you 10 pounds lighter or with your bonus check.

By refocusing on your goal, you implant pictures of the future into your brain.  In essence, you’re telling your brain what the future looks like.  Once it accepts this as your new reality, the stress and anxiety go away.

Don’t Give Up

Review your goals every day.  Keep them in front of you.  Know why you want to achieve them.  Then take small steps in that direction.  Soon you’ll be setting new goals and achieving them faster.

Authentic Reflection

I may not be as thin as a model,

As smart as a scientist,

As business savvy as an analyst.

But…

I am the best me there is.

What others see as flaws,

I see as beauty.

What others doubt,

I dream.

I may not meet your expectations.

That’s okay.

Your expectations are your thoughts not mine.

I’m the best me there will ever be, every day.

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Check out our Trust Your Brilliance Workshops where busy people are re-connecting with what’s important in their lives.

Not one in your area? Email me to see how we can set up one for your group.

photo credit: bettyx1138 via flickr

You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important. ~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help

I watched The Help with my sister a couple years ago.  I loved the opening scene where Aibileen repeats these simple affirmations to the little girl she cares for.

How awesome would it be to have someone whispering, “You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important” in your ear.  This started me thinking about affirmations.

In the scene, you get the feeling that Aibileen is reminding the child of these traits so she wouldn’t forget them in the shadow of her uncaring mother.

The Child’s Experience  

Now let’s think like the little girl.  What do you think she heard? Since kids that young can only think in the present, she would hear, “I am kind.  I am smart.  I am important.”  That’s a much different perspective.

When you learn to use affirmations, you are taught to think about what you want in the future.

The Tricky Part Of Affirmations

I’ve been using affirmations for years.  Sometimes they work and other times they didn’t.  When they didn’t I figured I wasn’t trying hard enough.  The Help reminded me of another reason.

Affirmations based on future results can cause the opposite result because unconsciously you don’t believe them.  The affirmation focuses your attention on the gap between where you are and where you want to be.  The more you repeat it, the bigger the gap.

Aibileen’s Lesson

Aibileen taught me, yes you can have affirmations based on the future, but you need to look at the present to make them real.  For example if your affirmation is,  ”I am successful,”  you need to focus on where you are successful right now.

Bringing your affirmation to the present moment, you build its power.  You attach it to real life examples.  Now your rational brain can accept it as truth.  The more you do this, the more true the affirmation becomes now and for the future.

Affirmation Activity

If you’re struggling sitting there thinking of examples, pull out a piece of paper.  Write your affirmation at the top.  Then write down all the examples of how you’ve already demonstrated the affirmation.  If you’re affirmation is you are successful, write down all the ways you are successful.

Now when you repeat your affirmation, your left brain accepts it and allows it easier passage to the right brain where it will live and grow.

You is kind.  You is smart. You is important.

Take Aibileen’s lesson to heart.  Learn to bring your affirmations into the future so you can feel them.  And always remember, You is kind. You is smart.  You is important.

Maisie taking it easy.

Maisie’s Rituals

Maisie, my dog, follows me everywhere, except the bathroom.  She follows me to the door and then waits  patiently outside until I’m done.  When I blow dry my hair, she waits in the bedroom (see above).  I think it’s the noise.

Yesterday when I was drying my hair, I was surprised to see the door nudge open.  Maisie poked her face around the corner as if to say, “Can I come in?”

I opened the door more and invited her in.  I wanted to see what she would do.

She carefully stepped into the bathroom, made her way next to me, and sat very still while I dried my hair.

Maisie’s New Year’s Resolution

Maisie is afraid of lots of things.  I think Maisie’s New Year’s Resolution was to face her fears.

She didn’t announce her resolution to the world.  She didn’t put it on Facebook.  She didn’t blog about it.  Instead,  she made up her mind to start change a behavior without telling a soul, even me.

A Lesson From Maisie

This time of year is full of good intentions.

You exclaim your resolution to the world, sign up for a gym membership and tell everyone you aren’t eating carbs any more.

There are two schools of thought on this.  The first is do it.  Tell the world.  As John Assaraf said in a recent Facebook post, “Let them cheer you on.”

The other school of thought is to keep your resolution to yourself.  Celebrate your own victories.  It’s only you you have to convince anyway.  If others notice, great, but you’re doing this for you.

I Choose Not To Tell

I’m of the second opinion.  I know I wrote about my intentions for the new year, but I didn’t specify my goals or what they look like.  That’s for me to know and you to find out.

Maisie did the same thing.  She kept her resolution to herself.  She quietly started to change her behavior.  No fan fare.

Your Fans Or Critics

The reason I believe keeping your resolution to yourself is others may not be happy about your changes.  When you make life shifts, they don’t want you to change.  They like things to stay the same.

Sometimes, they sabotage you without knowing it.  Perhaps it’s pulling you away from your book that you resolved to read every night.  Or asking if you want to go to dinner at your favorite restaurant when you’ve just started your diet.

These acts of sabotage aren’t done with bad intent.  They just want to get back to normal.  You probably do this to others as well.  I know I have.

Find The Right Support

If you don’t think you can accomplish your resolution by yourself, by all means find support.  Join Weight Watchers, hire a personal trainer, join a gym, work with a coach or join a book club.  All of these are unbiased support systems.  These folks will help, support and guide you.  They want you to change.

Once you find the right support, don’t go posting your results on Facebook or Twitter.  Although tempting to get the kudos from your adoring fans, it’s short lived.  Instead journal about your progress.  Tell yourself you did a great job.  It’s not about what others think, it’s about what you think.

Resolution or Staying Warm?

So take a tip from Maisie this year.  Keep your resolution to yourself.  When others in your life ask you why you’re acting different, just say its the new year and leave it at that.

Now that I think about it, I may have read a bit too much into Maisie’s actions yesterday as my dog trainer, Nancy Bradley, would say.

Perhaps all she wanted was to get warm.  Oh well.

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Need some support with your resolution?

Check out Life Simplified for options that might work for you.

photo credit A Room With A View on Facebook

New Year Thoughts

I woke up this morning full of hope and wonder.  Not a bad way to start 2013.

There have been years where I’ve wished away the new year because of fear.  Fear motivated my resolutions.  There was almost a “or else” quality about them.  The “or else” was always subconscious.  It usually had something to do with being a bad person.

This year instead of resolutions, I’ve set intentions.  Intentions guide and support your actions.  Intentions are also easier to approach each day without feeling guilty.  They allow you to approach each day as if it were another new year.  You start from where you are each day and try to be a little better.

What are some of my intentions the new year?

To love more.

To write more.

To accept more.

To stay true to myself.

To savor what I eat.

To treasure every minute of every day.

To feel the abundance of every day.

To see more miracles.

To give more.

To live from my heart.

Even writing down my new year intentions feels so much better than writing those silly resolutions.  They feel fresh and energized.  I can look at this list and feel good.  Isn’t that what a new year should feel like?

Setting intentions is easy.

If you’ve never set intentions it’s easy.  All you need to do is sit in a quiet spot and wish.  What do you you want more of in your life?  Listen to what your heart says.  Write down whatever comes up.

Then look at the list.  Whatever gets you excited are the intentions that are asking for your attention. Put them in a place you can see every day.  That’s it.

Your life will change.

When you set intentions, you will have dramatic shifts in your life.  Why? Because you’re changing from within.  Don’t be surprised if other things happen you wanted, but didn’t put on the list.

What are your intentions for the new year?

Ready to get started?  Get your pencil out and start dreaming.

photo credit: Google, 9.13.12

I didn’t know much about Clara Shumann until I tripped across her Google cartoon celebrating her 193rd birthday.  Reading a bit about her life, reminded me of a quote by Wayne Dyer:

“Nothing is gained by making yourself small and insignificant other than to manifest small and insignificance in your life.”

Clara’s Life

Clara Wieck Shumann was an accomplished pianist and composer well before she marred her husband, famous composer Robert Shumann.  According to her story, she met Robert Shumann when she was only 8 and he 17.  He was so inspired by her playing, he discontinued his studies and took up music studying with Clara’s father.

Clara’s career was 61 years long.  During that time she had 8 children, published over 30 pieces of music and wrote 25 more that were found later, and played concerts.  If that wasn’t difficult enough, she had to commit her husband and son to an insane asylum, lost 3 children and raised several of her grandchildren.  She was also a bread winner in her family.

Phew! And you thought you had a busy day!

Her husband is quoted as saying:

“But to have children, and a husband who is always living in the realm of imagination, does not go together with composing. She cannot work at it regularly, and I am often disturbed to think how many profound ideas are lost because she cannot work them out.”

Life Is 24/7

We talk about our lives being 24/7.  Don’t you think that Clara’s life was pretty 24/7 back in the 1800′s?

You have so much to give the world, just like Clara.  Living small, convincing yourself you can’t do something or that you don’t have the time is wasting your talents.

Robert Shumann felt his wife had so much more to offer, and so do you.  Just like Clara you live with constraints.  Take a lesson from this wonderful woman and don’t let your passions completely fade away.  Hold on and make time for them throughout your life.

Ask yourself what you would do if you could, then give yourself permission to try.  You have no limits so fly!

photo credit: Scooter the Photographer via photo pin cc

Shhh…I have a secret to share…

When I lived in Seattle, I discovered a little known secret outside Washington State.  It doesn’t rain in the summer!

Summers are beautiful, dry, about 70 degrees and, get this, not many people have screens in their windows because bugs disappear.  The dry weather withers lawns.  Non-sun loving plants hibernate waiting until the rains return.

Fall + Rain = Renewal

By the time it rains in the fall, Mother Nature is ready for it.  The rain brings about a rebirth.  Grass becomes green again.  Plants wiggle their roots and grow again.  You can almost hear a sigh from the dry ground as it welcomes the rain.

The renewal wasn’t just in the backyard.  Seattleites, as much as they complained about the rain, also welcome it.  After a week or so, they began to look as refreshed as the garden.

Being raised in New England, I’d never equated Fall with renewal.  In the Northeast, September/October represents a slowing down of things.  The bounty of tomatoes and zucchini ends, apples ripen, and everyone waits for the tress to burst into color.

Bringing A Little Seattle To Boston

I’m back in the Northeast.  Living in a different climate, changed me, however.  I now look forward to a renewal in the Fall.  The cooler nights inspire me to shake off the cobwebs of the lazy days of August.  Back in June, planning for the balance of the year felt like a chore.  Now, after the slower pace of the summer, I’m ready to get started.

Autumnal resolutions don’t require horns, confetti and champagne.  September resolutions ask only that we be open to positive change. ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance.

It’s Raining.  I’m Smiling.

While it rains this Fall, I’ll be wiggling my own roots and stretching my branches with a smile on my face end of year resolutions in firmly in hand.

How do you renew in the Fall?  Do you make September resolutions?  Let me know what you do in the comments below.

photo credit: arnold | inuyaki via photo pincc

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs

Passionate About Cooking

Last night my sister cooked dinner for our family and some friends.  There’s an unwritten rule when you go to dinner at Julie’s, be prepared for the experiment.

We all know there will be dishes served that she’s never cooked before.  Last night was a delectable collection of noshes ranging from a hummus layered dip to individual bread bowls filled with clam chowder.  With each course, the ooooo’s ahhhh’s from the crowd inspired even the pickiest of eaters to try a nibble.

My sister loves to cook.  You feel her joy as she proudly pulls a carbonara pizza from the oven with sizzling bacon and oozing egg yolks.  Some might dread cooking for 12, but not Julie.  It’s her passion that makes what you might think as work, come across as art.

The Recipe For A Happy Life

Here’s her recipe for a happy life…Love what you do, live passionately and “have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”  The right combination of these ingredients guarantees a full life.

Are you living your passions?

I hear you moaning about how you want to live your passions…but….

Don’t Listen to the Noise

There are no buts.  Everyone has difficulties in their lives, challenges you need to face.  The only way to live a full happy life is to follow Steve Job’s advice – “Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

When you think you can’t, remember you can.  When you think someone might not like what you need to do, do it anyway.  When you think what will others think, say who cares.

The only way to live a full and happy life is to be true to who you are and express it in everything you do.

That noise, Jobs talked about, will be loud at first.  Instead of listening to it, but on your favorite music and dance around the living room.

Filled to the Brim (and smiling all the way!)

I’m stuffed with all the good food from last night.  It’s not just my stomach that’s full, however, my sister fed our hearts with her love and passion.  Begin this fall doing the same in your life.

How do you live your passions?  Share them below.

Oh By The Way…Here’s the recipe for the Carbonara Pizza.  Great for a chilly night or a fun brunch.

Carbonara Pizza

1 pizza dough (your favorite recipe, fresh from the grocery store or try your local pizzeria)

1/2 lb bacon cut into 1/2 inch strips

1 cup heavy cream – reduced to 1/2 cup and cooled

1/2 cup mozzarella cheese (we used fresh) cut up or shredded

1/4 cup Romano cheese shredded.

2-4 eggs

Salt & Pepper

Corn meal for dusting

Cook the bacon until it’s about half way done (the microwave works well for this).  Sprinkle corn meal on a cookie sheet.  Stretch pizza dough to cover cookie sheet.  Let it rest for 5 minutes.

Sprinkle the dough with the mozzarella and Romano cheese.  Drizzle the cream over the cheese.  Add bacon.  Cook in a 450 degree oven for about 8-10 minutes.  Take out the pizza.  Crack 2-4 eggs over the pizza.  Sprinkle with salt and freshly ground pepper.  Return to the oven for another 3-4 minutes or until golden brown.  You want the eggs to set, but not become firm.

Take the pizza out of the oven.  Drag a knife through the eggs spreading the yolk over the pizza.

Serve while warm.

Yummm