photo credit: neilconway via flickr

No Plans To Sabotage

You set your goals for the year.  They felt doable and just right in January.

Now you’re starting to see the results.  You have new clients, you’ve lost 5 pounds, you’ve been accepted into the certification program.

Check-in.  How do you feel?

Success is a crazy thing.  At the beginning it’s nothing but an idea.  You’re happy when you think about it. When it starts to manifest, it can freak you out.

Whether you call it a fear of success, fear of change, or fear of failure, there’s one common thread, you’re afraid of what’s happening because it feels strange.

Self Sabotage – Repelling Success

Worse of all, you start to repel this success.  Unconsciously you self sabotage your success.  If you’re trying to lose 10 lbs, when you’ve lost 5 you “reward” yourself with ice cream.  Then it spirals out of control.

In your business, you want to increase sales.  You set your goals for the year then get to work.  You contact new prospects, have meetings, do more presentations.  Your calendar, once under control, now has very little white space.  When you look at the week ahead you moan and groan about being so busy.

Not only that, you start to complain when you’re with others.

Stop!

Complaining is a form of self sabotage.   Just like the bowl of ice cream, it will set you back from achieving your goal.

Why Do You Self Sabotage?

Everyone has comfort zones.  It feels right to to stay within its boundaries.  When you start to stretch outside the zone, you create an internal feeling of anxiety that, if not recognized, manifests as sabotage.

You aren’t doing it to be mean to yourself.  Your brain is trying to get you “back to where you belong.”  Your new state might be better for you physically or financially, but your brain doesn’t know that yet.

What’s A Person To Do?

The best thing to do is when you open up the freezer or hear yourself complain, stop.  Recognize this is anxiety.  Replace the need for ice cream or complaining with the vision of you 10 pounds lighter or with your bonus check.

By refocusing on your goal, you implant pictures of the future into your brain.  In essence, you’re telling your brain what the future looks like.  Once it accepts this as your new reality, the stress and anxiety go away.

Don’t Give Up

Review your goals every day.  Keep them in front of you.  Know why you want to achieve them.  Then take small steps in that direction.  Soon you’ll be setting new goals and achieving them faster.

photo credit: spapax via photopincc

Playing Hot Cold

Remember the game Hot/Cold.  The closer you got to something the other person would yell, “You’re getting hot.”  The farther away they would yell, “You’re so cold your frozen!”

I watched a couple kids playing this the other day while I was waiting for an appointment.  It was fun to see their squeals of delight as the person got closer to the object.

I believe your soul plays the same game with you.  Since it comes from a world of peace, abundance and love, it wants you to experience this every day.  You, however, have an ego of your own who’s motivation is unrest, lack and fear.

Soul Messages

The more you listen to your ego the farther you get from your soul’s purpose.  That’s when the game kicks into gear.  Your soul starts whispering you’re getting colder.  The more you live in fear and lack the louder the messages from your soul.

Since the soul doesn’t speak in words, it’s message is felt.  Ever have that feeling of just wanting a hug.  That’s your soul speaking.  Do you yearn for more abundance in your life?  You guessed it, your soul is telling you your getting colder.

When you have these tugs at your heart, pay attention.  They  aren’t there to make you feel bad.  They are there to help guide you.

Just like the kids, your soul can’t wait until you’re, “so hot your burning up.”  How will it tell you?  You’re heart will feel so full you can’t help but share with others.

photo credit: Google, 9.13.12

I didn’t know much about Clara Shumann until I tripped across her Google cartoon celebrating her 193rd birthday.  Reading a bit about her life, reminded me of a quote by Wayne Dyer:

“Nothing is gained by making yourself small and insignificant other than to manifest small and insignificance in your life.”

Clara’s Life

Clara Wieck Shumann was an accomplished pianist and composer well before she marred her husband, famous composer Robert Shumann.  According to her story, she met Robert Shumann when she was only 8 and he 17.  He was so inspired by her playing, he discontinued his studies and took up music studying with Clara’s father.

Clara’s career was 61 years long.  During that time she had 8 children, published over 30 pieces of music and wrote 25 more that were found later, and played concerts.  If that wasn’t difficult enough, she had to commit her husband and son to an insane asylum, lost 3 children and raised several of her grandchildren.  She was also a bread winner in her family.

Phew! And you thought you had a busy day!

Her husband is quoted as saying:

“But to have children, and a husband who is always living in the realm of imagination, does not go together with composing. She cannot work at it regularly, and I am often disturbed to think how many profound ideas are lost because she cannot work them out.”

Life Is 24/7

We talk about our lives being 24/7.  Don’t you think that Clara’s life was pretty 24/7 back in the 1800′s?

You have so much to give the world, just like Clara.  Living small, convincing yourself you can’t do something or that you don’t have the time is wasting your talents.

Robert Shumann felt his wife had so much more to offer, and so do you.  Just like Clara you live with constraints.  Take a lesson from this wonderful woman and don’t let your passions completely fade away.  Hold on and make time for them throughout your life.

Ask yourself what you would do if you could, then give yourself permission to try.  You have no limits so fly!

Part of the Life Simplified Garden

Love who you are, what you are and what you do.  Laugh at yourself and at life.  Louise Hay

My Garden

Last weekend I planted my annual herb garden.  This year I’m also trying my hand at tomatoes, zucchini, peppers, spinach, salad greens and summer squash.

Planting each seed and seedling, reminded me of how I’d once again stopped doing my inner work.

The meditative work of planting my garden, reminded me of life’s simple law.  Plant seeds.  Care for them.  Tend to the weeds.  In the end you’ll be rewarded with the seed’s unique gift.

The same is true for our personal and professional inner work.

What Mental Seeds Are You Planting?

If you plant a tomato seed, you don’t expect a zucchini.  Yet every day you the mental seed of I’m not worthy and expect love.  Spend 24 hours monitoring your thoughts.  They are subtle, so listen carefully.

What do you say to yourself if you are running late?  What do you say to yourself if a bill comes and there is no money in the bank?  What do you say to yourself when those summer clothes are tighter than last year or you have to put on your bathing suit for the first time?

Are those seeds you want to grow in your inner garden? I thought so.

I Love And Approve Of Myself

One of the most powerful, yet simple affirmations I use I learned from Louise Hay, “I love and approve of myself.”  When I decide to plant this seed rather than other negative seeds, I find life, personally and professionally, takes on a whole different hue.

Imagine walking into a situation saying, “I’m fat.  No one wants to talk to me because I’m so boring.”  Got it.  Now imagine the same situation and instead you’re saying, “I love and approve of myself.”  Can you feel the difference?When I do this work with clients, I see them sit up straighter, smile and relax.

Tend To Your Garden Daily

If you’re a gardener or just have a few herbs from the grocery store on the windowsill, try planting this mental seed while you’re tending your garden.

As you water your garden, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”  As you weed your garden, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”   As you smile with pride over your first tomato, repeat, “I love and approve of myself.”  

You can certainly repeat the affirmation other times as well.  The garden just gives you some time to meditate the feeling of the affirmation.

By connecting this practice with your garden, you’ll find you’re not just reaping tomatoes this summer.

You will see the little miracles occur in your life.  The things you are ready to eliminate will go of their own accord.  The things and events you want will pop up in your life seemingly out of the blue.  you will get bonuses you never imagined! ~ Louise Hay

photo credit: kazzpoint0 via flickr

Often – even when you believe you are thinking about something that you desire – you are actually things about the exact opposite of what you desire.  In other words, “I want to be well; I don’t want to be sick.”  ”I want to have financial security; I don’t want to experience a shortage of money.”  ”I want the perfect relationship to come to me; I don’t want to be alone.”  ~ Abraham via Esther Hicks, Ask And It Is Given

What You Think About Comes About

You’ve heard that before.   You’ve tried to focus on what you want in your life; a new car, a soul mate, a thriving business, but things aren’t working out like you planned.

Could you be thinking about what you don’t want rather than what you do want?

Ask And It Is Given

You know what you want, but you are feeling the lack of it.  This feeling of lack focuses you on the opposite of what you desire.  For example, positive thought: “I want a new computer.”  Feeling of lack: “I can’t afford a new computer.”  Without knowing it every time you say, “I want a new computer” you are actually saying, “I don’t want one because they are too expensive.”

A New Lesson

I’ve read Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks a hundred times.  Never before did I pull out this lesson until just recently.

After my initial ah-ha moment,  I looked back on my life.  When I set goals and was positive about an outcome, I got exactly what I desired, and pretty quickly I might add.  More often than not, however, when I asked for something I unconsciously focused on the lack behind it.  In those situations I was given exactly what I asked for…more lack.

Discovering the Lack

Through this activity, I realized I’d built a habit of focusing on lack.  The key to breaking a lack focused habit is to check in with your emotions.

Here’s an example.  I’ve wanted an iPhone forever.  However, when I thought about having an iPhone, my focus was on not having one.  Even when my phone was due for an upgrade and an iPhone was an option, I didn’t get one because I came up with a dozen excuses.  I now see those excuses were coming from my thoughts of not having an iPhone rather than having one.

I felt horrible during this process.  This was my first clue I was focusing on lack.

Let Your Emotions Be Your Guide

I’m still learning to tap into my emotions as I set new goals, create new visions, and develop new plans.  When I don’t feel good, I check in to see how I’m feeling. These feelings always point to my thoughts of lack.

Listen to your emotions.  If you don’t feel good, do a check in, like I’m learning to do.  When you think about your goal, vision or plan you should feel excited and passionate…like you are standing on the brink of something very exciting.

That’s when you know you’re on the right path.

photo credit: carlwwycoff via flickr

Grace: from the word gratus; pleasing, grateful ~ Merriam-Webster online dictionary

Order: methodical or harmonious arrangement ~ Dictionary.com

When my house is in order, I feel liberated now I know why reading the definition.  “Harmonious arrangement.”  I love that definition.  Order allows for grace to enter.  I then feel grateful for what is.

Where is all this coming from?

Today Sarah talks about “A Sense of Order: Cultivating Contentment.”  How women especially can be overwhelmed by their surroundings when chaos ensues, and who of you out there doesn’t have a touch of chaos in your life.

Order.  It doesn’t have the Puritanical “should” attached to it.  It doesn’t feel perfect.  Instead it feels softer.  Aligned.  Flowing.  Graceful.

Yes I’m babbling.

I may be babbling this morning, but after the holidays, it’s nice to feel a little order and grace.  Perhaps because yesterday was a simplification day, I feel re-energized in my office.  It isn’t perfect, but it feels pulled together.

If you feel constantly adrift but don’t know why, be willing to explore the role that order – or the lack of it – plays in your life. ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach.

I admit.  I like when things are in order.  I also admit I let them stray a bit.  Today I’m simply reminded of the grace and peace order can bring.  I feel as though I can breath.

What brings order to my life?

• A clean desk
• Empty inboxes
• A clean kitchen
• Laundry complete (and put away)
• Soup simmering on the stove
• The absence of clutter

What brings order and grace to your home, office, life?

phot credit: sheilascarborough via flickr

Simplify.  Simplify.  Simplify.  ~ Thoreau

Pioneer Woman

I have a long standing fantasy.  I live on a farm in the 1800′s out west somewhere.  We don’t have a lot.  We make  do with what we have.  The closest neighbor is 10 miles away.  The town is nearly double that.

This could have sprung from all the Little House on the Prairie, books and shows I watched in the ’70′s.  There’s something intriguing about making a life from what appears to be nothing.

I was addicted to the PBS reality show, Frontier House.  Modern families lived on the Montana frontier for 6 months as if it were 1883.  Watching what they struggled with made me realize how much we all take for granted in our lives today.

Why do I fantasize about living the pioneer life?

Pioneers were people like you and me.  They had to survive with next to nothing.  Many could not, but many did.  Those that did had a strength I admire.

Their simple living has inspired me to learn to bake bread using a starter rather than store bought yeast.  Build a pantry of ingredients rather than pre-made meals.  Survive even the most difficult days at work.  And even simplify my life.

Today I’m in need of a little simplification.

Around this time in January, the Christmas decorations have been down for a while, but the house (and especially my office) still feels cluttered.  It’s probably because, here’s another confession, I’m a piler, meaning I create piles. You may not have guessed this when you visit because I’m also an expert pile hider.

Behind the simplified facade, I know there are piles that need sorting.  Papers that need recycling.  Books that need donating.  And unused items that need to find new homes.

I’m excited to clear out

Today is going to be a simplification day.  I’m giddy with excitement.  Simplifying helps me in so many ways.  It helps me prioritize, a great thing to do at the beginning of the year.  It makes me feel lighter versus weighed down by all the excess baggage.

Why do I simplify?

More importantly simplifying allows me to realize the abundance in my life that is over looked on a daily basis.  I have so much to be grateful for, too much, but I forget that when I’m rushing around day to day.

There are so many people out there who can use what I have stored somewhere in a pile.  Why not liberate that energy?  Sharing what you don’t need any more, can make someone’s day.

Today I’m adapting my pioneer woman attitude.  What do I need?  What do I love?  What haven’t I used in a while?  Where can it go to help someone else?

Do you have simplifying days?  Feel free to share your experience!

My famous Carrot Soup - photo credit: Life Simplified

…a good homemade soup in these days of the can opener is almost a unique and always a satisfying experience. ~ Julia Child

The all day simmer.  The intoxicating aroma.  The long awaited first bowl.

Soup.

It’s just about the most perfect thing in the world.  There are not many weekends when the soup pot isn’t bubbling on the stove making luscious chicken stock, a vegetable soup or a decadent chowder.

As I stirred yesterday’s simmering white vegetable and bean soup, I couldn’t help but think soup is Simple Abundance in a pot.  Out of what another might throw away, I had a steamy concoction of goodness that is not only satisfying for the stomach, but the soul as well.

The secret to the perfect soup is time, patience and as Julia would say a “what-the-hell attitude.”  I started making soup from fixing up something canned.  From there I graduated to soups with store bought stock.  Now I can confidently say I’ve graduated to fully homemade soup, stock and all.

Patience and Time

For me it’s an all day process.  I start with left over bones I keep in the freezer.  Julia taught me the secret to an amazing stock that I’d missed in my self taught training.  Brown the chicken bones.  Who would have thought that one step would make all the difference in the world.  I’ve included my chicken stock recipe below to spare you with the boring details.

Suffice to say, soup is the ultimate example of abundance for me.  Making a stock re-centers me.  Chopping the vegetables becomes a meditation.  Combining the right spices and seasonings, magic.

If you had to pick one food that depicts abundance to you what would it be?

Jen’s Chicken Stock

• Bones from at least one chicken.  We save our bones in the freezer.  When our bone bag is full, it’s time for stock.
• Odds and ends from onions, carrots, celery if you have them. Since I make stock on a regular basis I keep the odds and ends from the week’s vegetables in a container in the refrigerator.  If you don’t add 2 carrots, 2 stalks of celery, an onion and some garlic if you want.
• Thyme
• BayLeaves
• Peppercorns
• Olive Oil

Heat the olive oil in a large stock pot.  Add the chicken bones.  Let them brown, but watch them so they don’t burn.  About half way through the process add the vegetables, thyme, bay leaves and peppercorns.  You’re looking for some caramelization on the bottom of the pan.  This takes about 15-20 minutes depending on how many bones you have.

Add water to cover the bones.  Simmer partially covered for 1 1/2 – 2 hours.  Your kitchen will smell heavenly.

Strain the bones, etc. at the end of the cooking.  You can start a soup at this point or freeze the stock you made.

Note: You’ll notice I didn’t add any salt to the mixture.  This is because when you make a soup, the stock will continue to condense.  If it contained the “right” amount of salt at the beginning, it would be too salty at the end.

photo credit: gfrphoto via flickr

Negative Chatter

All the chatter with the political campaign drives me crazy.  Everyone says they have the only answer, they are the only positive choice, and the opponent is a miserable human being.

Really?

Is this how we decide on who will run a company?  Do you slam the competition when you interview for a job?  It sounds ridiculous in those terms, but that’s exactly what the presidential candidates are doing.  Watching too much of the political stuff can really drain your glass.

Is your glass half full or half empty?

This week, a friend commented on my Facebook page that my cup is always half full and someone else suggested overflowing.  I can’t deny that I look on the positive side of things.  It does, however, take work.

I don’t surround myself with negative stuff.  I avoid the commercial news.  What I read is inspirational – biographies, success stories and information that enhances my life, not depletes it.

When you choose to be an optimist, you can spot negativity a mile away.  You don’t get sucked in.  You can see through the negativity to something deeper.  I can’t say I’ve done a lot of this with the political campaign, but I will before I vote.

Learning to be an optimist helps you make sounder decisions.  You aren’t swayed by the emotional tide someone else as created.  Instead optimism opens the door for you to follow who you choose.  There’s a freedom, a lightness, a sense of peace in learning to be an optimist.

Warning: People don’t always like optimists.  They think you should get caught up in their drama.  You should believe the negative stories they’ve been telling themselves.  They want you to this so you’ll validate their point of view.  When you don’t, it can be a little uncomfortable.  Believe me I’ve been there.

A theme has arisen in the month of January I didn’t expect.  You have a choice.  You can choose to follow the negative messages, or you can choose to become an optimist.  Which do you choose?

My left hemisphere had been trained to perceive myself as a solid, separate from others.  Now, released from that restrictive circuitry, my right hemisphere relished in its attachment to the eternal flow.  I was no longer isolated and alone.  My soul was as big as the universe and frolicked with glee in a boundless sea.  Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

I know I’ve mentioned My Stroke of Insight, but I re-read it again this week to remind myself we have a choice between believing in scarcity or abundance.

The Power Of Your Brain

Dr. Taylor’s amazing story gives us insight into the power of our brains.  Since we have two distinct hemisphere’s that act independently, we do have the ability to shift our perception, and thus our reality.  That’s what enlightened people have been doing for ages.  They move into the right hemisphere of their brains and perceive the world from there.  According the Dr. Taylor it’s a dramatically different world.

What You Believe Shapes Your World

I think it’s important that you remember, whatever you believe shapes your world.  If you believe there are tons of bad people out there, there will be.  You’ll pick up on every news article, negative incident, and nasty person.

If, however, you believe the world is good, you will pick up the signs to confirm that.

As Dr. Taylor’s left hemisphere came back “online,” she found some of the negative self talk trying to return.  Because she’d experienced a world of no self talk, she knew she could control it.  She consciously chose what she wanted to believe and what her brain would repeat.

Even today, fully recovered, she has to keep her negative self talk in check.

When my brain runs loops that feel harshly judgmental, counter-productive, or our of control, I wait 90 seconds for the emotional/physiological response to dissipate and then I speak to my brain as though it is a group of children.  I say with sincerity, “I appreciate your ability to think thoughts and feel emotions, but I am really not interested in thinking these thoughts or feeling these emotions any more.  Please stop bringing this stuff up.”

What is your self talk saying?  Is it telling you there’s scarcity, lack, to be afraid?  Or is it telling you loving thoughts about yourself and others?  You control it.  You can change the thought patterns.  How will you start today?