Category: Reaching Your Dream
Healing In The Midst of Craziness
After a week that felt turned upside down, Friday I had an amazing healing experience.
I was part of a wonderful drumming circle where we not only got messages for ourselves, but sent healing and compassion out to the world. There were only a few of us in the room, yet the power and energy created was magical.
Getting Back to Normal
If you’ve been through a deeply spiritual experience; a birth, a death, a healing you know how hard it is to “get back to normal.” I’ll never forget when my mom passed away 5 years ago, how surreal the world felt after the funeral. The next day everyone seemed to get back into their routine. I, however, wasn’t sure what that was any more.
I had the same experience about a year after that coming back from a retreat in Sedona. Integrating back into the physical world was hard, like coming back from a very long vacation and feeling a bit disoriented. All the crazy to do’s you had before the trip, don’t mean much when you get home.
That’s how I’m feeling this weekend. Yesterday I felt lost. What I read on social networks seemed trite. What I saw on television very flat. Nothing had a lot of meaning.
The Healing Process: Figuring Out Normal Again
This is normal. It’s part of the healing process.
When you have a life changing experience, you are given the opportunity to recreate your normal. It’s one of the only times, you naturally can change a value or priority in your life.
If you’re feeling out of sorts, that’s okay. Know that you’re just trying to figure out what normal is.
Let Go Of What’s Not Important
Treasure this time instead of fear it. Don’t jump back into the same routine. This is time for you to heal more than just what’s happened in your life. It’s a time when you can heal so much more.
If your life doesn’t allow downtime, notice how things feel. If they feel out of place, then try to remove them.
For example I’d been wanting to give up coffee for a while, but wasn’t able to make progress. After the events here in Boston, I just stopped. It didn’t seem to fit any more in my life.
Notice what now feels forced. If it was something you wanted to let go before but you couldn’t, now may be the time.
Becoming Sound and Healthy Again
Healing means to become sound and healthy again. If that means giving up things that didn’t serve the sound and healthy lifestyle you desire, now is a good time to let go. You’re psyche is ready.
I thought I would share the reaction to the healing session we had from the owner of Andeva Wellness who organized the event.
When I looked around I looked into the people that where here today. I did not see their clothes, or
hair, their possessions or even if they were male or female. Instead, I was present to who they were on
a soulful level. We had an Eagle Sore, a multi-generation of beautiful yellow light grace us, a group of
spirits flying with their white lights and the amazing presence of Jesus himself illuminated our circle. We,
as a group, intended to reach far beyond Andeva Wellness Center with our prayers and our healing and
we did. When put together as a collective whole it is amazing what can transpire. There was also a group
healing that occurred simply because it was needed in the moment. Being connected and feeling the
light work through you, but not because of you, knowing you are a vessel for what is possible, is truly
doing God’s work. When one has the opportunity to be a part of something so special your perspective
changes forever. One starts to know what is possible and creates a space for more Light and Love to
enter. I am forever grateful to be on the journey that I am on and also for all the amazing and wonderful
souls that are sent to share my journey. Continue to grow, be open and search for a soul near you today.
No Plans To Sabotage
You set your goals for the year. They felt doable and just right in January.
Now you’re starting to see the results. You have new clients, you’ve lost 5 pounds, you’ve been accepted into the certification program.
Check-in. How do you feel?
Success is a crazy thing. At the beginning it’s nothing but an idea. You’re happy when you think about it. When it starts to manifest, it can freak you out.
Whether you call it a fear of success, fear of change, or fear of failure, there’s one common thread, you’re afraid of what’s happening because it feels strange.
Self Sabotage – Repelling Success
Worse of all, you start to repel this success. Unconsciously you self sabotage your success. If you’re trying to lose 10 lbs, when you’ve lost 5 you “reward” yourself with ice cream. Then it spirals out of control.
In your business, you want to increase sales. You set your goals for the year then get to work. You contact new prospects, have meetings, do more presentations. Your calendar, once under control, now has very little white space. When you look at the week ahead you moan and groan about being so busy.
Not only that, you start to complain when you’re with others.
Complaining is a form of self sabotage. Just like the bowl of ice cream, it will set you back from achieving your goal.
Why Do You Self Sabotage?
Everyone has comfort zones. It feels right to to stay within its boundaries. When you start to stretch outside the zone, you create an internal feeling of anxiety that, if not recognized, manifests as sabotage.
You aren’t doing it to be mean to yourself. Your brain is trying to get you “back to where you belong.” Your new state might be better for you physically or financially, but your brain doesn’t know that yet.
What’s A Person To Do?
The best thing to do is when you open up the freezer or hear yourself complain, stop. Recognize this is anxiety. Replace the need for ice cream or complaining with the vision of you 10 pounds lighter or with your bonus check.
By refocusing on your goal, you implant pictures of the future into your brain. In essence, you’re telling your brain what the future looks like. Once it accepts this as your new reality, the stress and anxiety go away.
Don’t Give Up
Review your goals every day. Keep them in front of you. Know why you want to achieve them. Then take small steps in that direction. Soon you’ll be setting new goals and achieving them faster.
Spring unofficially arrived this weekend with daylight savings time.
Over the past several weeks, I noticed hints of Spring. Birds singing in the morning. Days staying light until after 5pm. Sprouting bulbs.
Spring is different than other seasons. It’s exciting. It’s rejuvenating. It’s refreshing. It’s like waking up from a good dream with sunshine in your eyes.
Spring is about new beginnings. The rest of the year is for maturing, but Spring invites you to be creative.
A Spring Forward
Better than a New Year’s Resolution, a Spring Forward has momentum. The energy is right. Nature conspires with you achieve your desires. Take advantage of it.
The dreams you set in motion in January were merely seeds. Following Mother Nature’s guidance, it’s time to tend your internal garden; to water it, give it sunlight and gleefully rejoice at the bright green shoots appearing on the surface.
Remember the seedlings of your dreams are fragile in this season. Carefully nurture them. Don’t expose them to the harsh criticism of your routine internal dialogue. Instead surround them with the love and energy the require to grow.
Dance and Celebrate
Spring is the time to dance and celebrate, to be curious and daring, and to be youthful.
Don’t hold back. Tap into the natural energy around you. Take risks. Then take action on your dreams.
All of this simply from changing the clocks. Isn’t that wonderful!
Join us this for a Trust Your Brilliance Workshop to nourish your internal garden.
“How did it get so late so soon?” ~ Dr. Seuss
Expectations Create Your Experience
Why do the longest weeks seem short and the shortest weeks seem long?
It’s all about expectations.
Expectations shape and form your perception of the current moment. Change your expectations and you change your experience.
Whether you’re facing a long week or short week as you read this, remember you shape your experience. Will you savor the moment or waste it.
You is kind. You is smart. You is important. ~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help
I watched The Help with my sister a couple years ago. I loved the opening scene where Aibileen repeats these simple affirmations to the little girl she cares for.
How awesome would it be to have someone whispering, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important” in your ear. This started me thinking about affirmations.
In the scene, you get the feeling that Aibileen is reminding the child of these traits so she wouldn’t forget them in the shadow of her uncaring mother.
The Child’s Experience
Now let’s think like the little girl. What do you think she heard? Since kids that young can only think in the present, she would hear, “I am kind. I am smart. I am important.” That’s a much different perspective.
When you learn to use affirmations, you are taught to think about what you want in the future.
The Tricky Part Of Affirmations
I’ve been using affirmations for years. Sometimes they work and other times they didn’t. When they didn’t I figured I wasn’t trying hard enough. The Help reminded me of another reason.
Affirmations based on future results can cause the opposite result because unconsciously you don’t believe them. The affirmation focuses your attention on the gap between where you are and where you want to be. The more you repeat it, the bigger the gap.
Aibileen taught me, yes you can have affirmations based on the future, but you need to look at the present to make them real. For example if your affirmation is, ”I am successful,” you need to focus on where you are successful right now.
Bringing your affirmation to the present moment, you build its power. You attach it to real life examples. Now your rational brain can accept it as truth. The more you do this, the more true the affirmation becomes now and for the future.
If you’re struggling sitting there thinking of examples, pull out a piece of paper. Write your affirmation at the top. Then write down all the examples of how you’ve already demonstrated the affirmation. If you’re affirmation is you are successful, write down all the ways you are successful.
Now when you repeat your affirmation, your left brain accepts it and allows it easier passage to the right brain where it will live and grow.
You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
Take Aibileen’s lesson to heart. Learn to bring your affirmations into the future so you can feel them. And always remember, You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
Maisie, my dog, follows me everywhere, except the bathroom. She follows me to the door and then waits patiently outside until I’m done. When I blow dry my hair, she waits in the bedroom (see above). I think it’s the noise.
Yesterday when I was drying my hair, I was surprised to see the door nudge open. Maisie poked her face around the corner as if to say, “Can I come in?”
I opened the door more and invited her in. I wanted to see what she would do.
She carefully stepped into the bathroom, made her way next to me, and sat very still while I dried my hair.
Maisie’s New Year’s Resolution
Maisie is afraid of lots of things. I think Maisie’s New Year’s Resolution was to face her fears.
She didn’t announce her resolution to the world. She didn’t put it on Facebook. She didn’t blog about it. Instead, she made up her mind to start change a behavior without telling a soul, even me.
A Lesson From Maisie
This time of year is full of good intentions.
You exclaim your resolution to the world, sign up for a gym membership and tell everyone you aren’t eating carbs any more.
There are two schools of thought on this. The first is do it. Tell the world. As John Assaraf said in a recent Facebook post, “Let them cheer you on.”
The other school of thought is to keep your resolution to yourself. Celebrate your own victories. It’s only you you have to convince anyway. If others notice, great, but you’re doing this for you.
I Choose Not To Tell
I’m of the second opinion. I know I wrote about my intentions for the new year, but I didn’t specify my goals or what they look like. That’s for me to know and you to find out.
Maisie did the same thing. She kept her resolution to herself. She quietly started to change her behavior. No fan fare.
Your Fans Or Critics
The reason I believe keeping your resolution to yourself is others may not be happy about your changes. When you make life shifts, they don’t want you to change. They like things to stay the same.
Sometimes, they sabotage you without knowing it. Perhaps it’s pulling you away from your book that you resolved to read every night. Or asking if you want to go to dinner at your favorite restaurant when you’ve just started your diet.
These acts of sabotage aren’t done with bad intent. They just want to get back to normal. You probably do this to others as well. I know I have.
Find The Right Support
If you don’t think you can accomplish your resolution by yourself, by all means find support. Join Weight Watchers, hire a personal trainer, join a gym, work with a coach or join a book club. All of these are unbiased support systems. These folks will help, support and guide you. They want you to change.
Once you find the right support, don’t go posting your results on Facebook or Twitter. Although tempting to get the kudos from your adoring fans, it’s short lived. Instead journal about your progress. Tell yourself you did a great job. It’s not about what others think, it’s about what you think.
Resolution or Staying Warm?
So take a tip from Maisie this year. Keep your resolution to yourself. When others in your life ask you why you’re acting different, just say its the new year and leave it at that.
Now that I think about it, I may have read a bit too much into Maisie’s actions yesterday as my dog trainer, Nancy Bradley, would say.
Perhaps all she wanted was to get warm. Oh well.
Need some support with your resolution?
Check out Life Simplified for options that might work for you.
The point of power is always in the present moment. ~ Louise Hay
Such a simple message, but so profound.
Last night after dinner while watching tv with my father, I noticed him muttering to himself so I asked him what he was thinking about.
He said, “I’m trying to figure out how this month will play out.” He’s been going through chemo. Although he has this month’s schedule he felt it necessary to obsess over all the details for nearly a half an hour. That’s a lot of moments.
The power of the moment.
Each moment we have the ability to change our future. We can impact the life of another. We can love.
What you choose to do with your moment is up to you, but here’s a couple things that won’t help:
- Dwelling on the past – for the past doesn’t exist any more.
- Worrying about the future – it will come no matter what.
Avoiding the present.
As I watch my father age, I notice he spends less and less time in the present. The past is an old friend he wraps around himself especially when he’s sick. The future is uncertain and he fears it.
I know I can’t change my father’s thinking. That’s up to him. What I do know is that I can choose to live in the moment.
In each moment I can focus on my intentions. Is it to bring more love? Then I will do that. Is it to experience abundance? Then I will do that. Is it to be true to myself? Then that’s what I’ll do.
Where is your focus?
Claim your point of power now. No matter what your situation, when you strip away all the shoulds, you own each moment. Gobble it up!
New Year Thoughts
I woke up this morning full of hope and wonder. Not a bad way to start 2013.
There have been years where I’ve wished away the new year because of fear. Fear motivated my resolutions. There was almost a “or else” quality about them. The “or else” was always subconscious. It usually had something to do with being a bad person.
This year instead of resolutions, I’ve set intentions. Intentions guide and support your actions. Intentions are also easier to approach each day without feeling guilty. They allow you to approach each day as if it were another new year. You start from where you are each day and try to be a little better.
What are some of my intentions the new year?
To love more.
To write more.
To accept more.
To stay true to myself.
To savor what I eat.
To treasure every minute of every day.
To feel the abundance of every day.
To see more miracles.
To give more.
To live from my heart.
Even writing down my new year intentions feels so much better than writing those silly resolutions. They feel fresh and energized. I can look at this list and feel good. Isn’t that what a new year should feel like?
Setting intentions is easy.
If you’ve never set intentions it’s easy. All you need to do is sit in a quiet spot and wish. What do you you want more of in your life? Listen to what your heart says. Write down whatever comes up.
Then look at the list. Whatever gets you excited are the intentions that are asking for your attention. Put them in a place you can see every day. That’s it.
Your life will change.
When you set intentions, you will have dramatic shifts in your life. Why? Because you’re changing from within. Don’t be surprised if other things happen you wanted, but didn’t put on the list.
What are your intentions for the new year?
Ready to get started? Get your pencil out and start dreaming.
We all have angels guiding us…What will bring their help? Asking. Giving Thanks. ~ Sophy Burnham
Angels Among Us
I love the thought of angels walking among us. It comforts me to think the person you passed, helped, spoke to could be an angel. Perhaps it’s the kid in me, especially this time of year.
Whether you believe in angels or not, the key to moving forward is to ask questions.
Sage Advice – Ask More Questions
A mentor and valued friend of mine gave me advice years ago. I was struggling trying to get important messages out. I felt like I was always telling people stuff, but they weren’t listening.
She suggested I ask more questions, real not rhetorical questions. Become curious in the other person’s point of view. Learn where they are coming from. Focus your message in the form of questions. Let them tell you the answer. In doing so not only will your message sink in, you’ll discover much more in the process.
It’s something I still do today, although I admit, I do have to remind myself from time to time.
Learn From A Toddler
Listen to a toddler. They have this one nailed down. They naturally ask questions, especially, “Why?” How come? They’re curious. They want to connect the dots.
Do you ask questions? Enough questions?
I know it can be hard. You are supposed to know the answers. But over the holidays, become curious and ask more questions. See what happens.
Ask A Question A Day
Here’s an activity to get you started.
As you get ready for the day, contemplate one question you’d like the answer to. Then throughout the day make it a mission to find the answer. Try not to Google the answer, but engage people in conversation. Use Google as your last resort.
Vary your questions from business to personal. Have fun with it. It will get the creative juices flowing.
Ask questions. Stay curious.
I am curious about everything.
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