photo credit: sweetonveg via flickr

Healing In The Midst of Craziness

After a week that felt turned upside down, Friday I had an amazing healing experience.

I was part of a wonderful drumming circle where we not only got messages for ourselves, but sent healing and compassion out to the world.  There were only a few of us in the room, yet the power and energy created was magical.

Getting Back to Normal

If you’ve been through a deeply spiritual experience; a birth, a death, a healing you know how hard it is to “get back to normal.”  I’ll never forget when my mom passed away 5 years ago, how surreal the world felt after the funeral.  The next day everyone seemed to get back into their routine.  I, however, wasn’t sure what that was any more.

I had the same experience about a year after that coming back from a retreat in Sedona.  Integrating back into the physical world was hard, like coming back from a very long vacation and feeling a bit disoriented.  All the crazy to do’s you had before the trip, don’t mean much when you get home.

That’s how I’m feeling this weekend.  Yesterday I felt lost.  What I read on social networks seemed trite.  What I saw on television very flat.  Nothing had a lot of meaning.

The Healing Process: Figuring Out Normal Again

This is normal.  It’s part of the healing process.

When you have a life changing experience, you are given the opportunity to recreate your normal.  It’s one of the only times, you naturally can change a value or priority in your life.

If you’re feeling out of sorts, that’s okay.  Know that you’re just trying to figure out what normal is.

Let Go Of What’s Not Important

Treasure this time instead of fear it.  Don’t jump back into the same routine.  This is time for you to heal more than just what’s happened in your life.  It’s a time when you can heal so much more.

If your life doesn’t allow downtime, notice how things feel.  If they feel out of place, then try to remove them.

For example I’d been wanting to give up coffee for a while, but wasn’t able to make progress.  After the events here in Boston, I just stopped.  It didn’t seem to fit any more in my life.

Notice what now feels forced.  If it was something you wanted to let go before but you couldn’t, now may be the time.

Becoming Sound and Healthy Again

Healing means to become sound and healthy again.  If that means giving up things that didn’t serve the sound and healthy lifestyle you desire, now is a good time to let go.  You’re psyche is ready.

Additional note:

I thought I would share the reaction to the healing session we had from the owner of Andeva Wellness who organized the event.

When I looked around I looked into the people that where here today. I did not see their clothes, or
hair, their possessions or even if they were male or female. Instead, I was present to who they were on
a soulful level. We had an Eagle Sore, a multi-generation of beautiful yellow light grace us, a group of
spirits flying with their white lights and the amazing presence of Jesus himself illuminated our circle. We,
as a group, intended to reach far beyond Andeva Wellness Center with our prayers and our healing and
we did. When put together as a collective whole it is amazing what can transpire. There was also a group
healing that occurred simply because it was needed in the moment. Being connected and feeling the
light work through you, but not because of you, knowing you are a vessel for what is possible, is truly
doing God’s work. When one has the opportunity to be a part of something so special your perspective
changes forever. One starts to know what is possible and creates a space for more Light and Love to
enter. I am forever grateful to be on the journey that I am on and also for all the amazing and wonderful
souls that are sent to share my journey. Continue to grow, be open and search for a soul near you today.

photo credit: shipulites via flickr

In my conversation with God today, I asked, “What is love?”

With all the craziness going on, I was confused.  More accurately I was afraid.  I couldn’t feel what I thought I should feel when I wanted to invoke love.  So I took it to the expert.  Here’s the response I got.

Love is only a word you’ve come to describe a sensation or feeling.  It’s much more than the four letters you’ve assigned to represent something so large.

Love simply put is the energy of creation.

• It’s growth.
• It’s life.
• It’s caring for and nurturing.
• It’s compassion.
• It’s authenticity.
• It’s bliss.
• It’s awe.
• It’s sincere.
• It’s gentle.
• It’s kind.

Most important, it is unconditional.  Since love is energy, it can never be destroyed.  There are no conditions in which it can not exist.

Wayne Dyer quotes A Course In Miracles:

Everything that’s love can’t be fear, and everything that’s fear can’t be love. You’re either in one or the other.

I choose love.

I am love.  You are love

photo credit: digitalmagicphotos via flickr

Being your own boss is tough.  You’re harder on yourself than any boss you’d ever work for.  Don’t you agree?

To add to your plate, you need to take care of your family and you.  24 hours isn’t enough to get it all right.

I find myself saying, “I should have…” or “I should do…”  Do you have the same dialogue?

What Does Should Mean?

I looked up the definition of should online.

“Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions: “he should have been careful”.

When you criticize your actions, you’re judging.  You’ve slapped a label on yourself, compared yourself to a standard and for most of you told yourselves how badly you’re doing.  Not a pretty picture.

What If You Changed Your Perspective?

What if you believed you were perfect just the way you are?  What if you loved rather than criticized yourself?

Love is the most powerful force on this planet.  When you open your heart to love, negativity evaporates.  Love is like the small light at the end of the tunnel drawing you toward it.

Business and Love

Some say business and love don’t mix.

I believe the definition of a successful business is when the functions of business are combined with love, respect, authenticity, and open communication.

Life and Love

In the same way, I believe a fully realized life is when you love yourself.

How do you know if you love yourself?  Your default isn’t to criticize.  You accept yourself exactly where you are.  You don’t feel the need to change yourself to fit an accepted pattern.

When you start to live consciously in love every day, miracles happen.  You are grateful for all that’s in your life.  You feel alive in the moment.

Sounds like a pretty good way to live and run a business doesn’t it.

No More Should

If you find yourself using the words should, have to, want, change them to I am, I choose to, I desire.  These baby steps will move from criticizing and judging to loving and accepting.

Are you ready to give up should?

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Sign-up for my Monday morning inspiration to kick start your week.

Setting the intention to love yourself and others at the beginning of every day is a perfect way to start the day don’t you think?

photo credit: reneesilverman via flickr

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Buying Gifts

You have a list of people to buy for.  You say, this weekend I’m going to the mall and get it all done.  By Sunday, you’ve checked off most people on the list.  You feel exhausted and accomplished, but something is missing.

Buying gifts at the holidays is full of pressure.  You don’t want to disappoint, but you only have so much money.  Do you worry about finding the right present, or just pick up something to wrap.

Thinking Outside the Gift Box

One thing is to think about giving an experience as a gift.  This is thinking outside of the gift box.  Here are some ideas:

• Buy gifts that remind them of special times – a snow globe of the Empire State Building to remember the great vacation to NYC this year.
• Give time as a gift – plan a special girls day out with lunch, or tickets to an upcoming show.
• Create gifts that tell a story – one of the most touching was a picture book my sister got for my brother-in-law of the baseball season when they won the tournament.

You can’t find these gifts at Walmart.  The place they live is in your heart. Buying gifts like these takes a little extra thought, but the end result not only will leave you feeling accomplished, but with the warm glow of holiday love.

Just Try It

I know this won’t work with everyone on your list.  I will challenge you to try this with at least one person on your list.  See how it feels to give that give versus the other gifts you’ve chosen.

Warning!  Once you start buying gifts and giving gifts based on love, it’s hard to turn back.  In our house, guaranteed someone will be crying by the end of the gift giving because of the gift of love.

Have you every noticed that it’s always unhappy people who attack the things happy people believe in? ~ Santa Claus, The Autobiography of Santa Claus

Holiday Affirmations 

As many of you know, I love Christmas.  It isn’t just the day, it’s the entire season.  I’m kicking off my daily Holiday Affirmations for 2012 with this quote from one of my favorite books, The Autobiography of Santa Claus.

I don’t tell a lot of people out of season about my Christmas passion because I tend to get negative responses.  Only a hand full of people I’ve met in my life have the same year round enthusiasm.

What’s Special About Christmas

Here’s why I love Christmas.  For at least a couple days out of the year, people are encouraged to take care of one another.  Did you know there is scientific research that says when you give you increase the feel good hormones not only in the person you’ve given something to, but your feel good hormones also rise.

We all lead very busy lives trying to raise our families, grow our businesses, pay our bills.  It’s easy to get sucked into living every day on the treadmill.  At the holidays, we’re given the reminder to pick our heads up and look around.

So my gift to you this holiday are 30 days of Holiday Affirmations to help guide you through the holidays.  Here’s today’s affirmation.

In loving others I find compassion to love myself.

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If you can’t check in here on a regular basis, join us for weekly specially written (not on the blog) Holiday Affirmations delivered to your email every Sunday.    This week’s is on Daily Gratitude.

And now here is my secret, a very simple secret.  It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.  What is essential is invisible to the eye.  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Whenever PBS has pledge month, I look forward to listening to Wayne Dyer.  Each show inspires me.  I love his guests.  Their stories always bring life to his words.

In his latest program Wishes Fulfilled, his guest is Anita Moorjani.  Her story is about her battle with cancer and the near death experience that changed her life.

I loved the way she spoke about her experience.  She was so loving and peaceful.  I wanted to read her book, Dying To Be Me to learn more.  I signed up for Hay House’s Book Nook and they sent me the book free and in return for a review.  I was happy to comply.

Anita begins the book talking about her life before cancer.  Like many of you, she talks about growing up never feeling as if she fit in.  This uneasiness turned into fear.  She wanted to do things “right,” but always felt out of place.

This fear spread to other areas in her life.  She began to fear cancer because she watched a friend wither away from it’s effects.  When she was diagnosed with cancer, she feared treatment.  On February 2, 2006, she let go of all her fears and died.

She details her near death experience with such clarity.  She describes how her awareness expanded in all directions.  She could connect with her father and friend who had died before, as well as, listen to what the doctors were saying.  She could sense when a nurse had given up on her and what her brother was thinking on the way to the hospital.

Here’s how she described her initial experience:

It didn’t feel as though I’d physically gone somewhere else – it was more as though I’d awakened…Love, joy, ecstasy and awe poured into me, through me and engulfed me.  I was swallowed up and enveloped in more love than I ever knew existed.  I felt more free and live than I ever had…The feeling of complete, pure, unconditional love was unlike anything I’d known before…I didn’t have to do anything to deserve it, nor did I need to prove myself to earn it.

In her choice to come back, she knew she would be healed.  Her message was to live her life fearlessly.  As I read those words, I attached my own definition to fearlessly.  I took it to mean of courageously or adventurously.

It wasn’t until Part 3 – What I Learned From My Experience that I fully understood the message.  Fear is something you create.  It doesn’t exist.  To live without fear means to live in joy.  It’s a simple message.  Let the fear go and replace it with joy.

I’ve already recommended this book to friends and family.  It’s message is pure.  Whether you’re dealing with illness, death or more importantly want to make shifts in your life, this book has something for you.  I know I’ll be reading it several times to absorb Anita’s lessons.

The quote from The Little Prince spoke to me about Anita.  Through her experience she now can see with her heart what is essential.  It’s something we can all learn.

photo credit: blinkingidiot via flickr

Get out and live your life fearlessly.  Anita Moorjani

Imagine 24 hours of living fearlessly.  I don’t meet throwing caution to the wind, but truly living 24 hours without feeling fear.

You might say, “I don’t really live in fear now so that would be easy.”  That’s what I thought.

It’s More About the Small Fears

Everyone has big fears.  It’s what you worry about.  Will your kids turn out okay?  What if you’re laid off?  How well are your parents?  Will there be a war?  Will you get that big client?

I realize these big thoughts can dominate your life.  It was, however, the small fears like what people will think if you eat that doughnut, paying a bill, keeping the house clean just in case people stop by, or worrying if you’ll make the team that make up many of your routine thoughts.

These small thoughts creep into your consciousness.  Over time, they become part of your daily thought process.  Sitting in the background, you don’t even notice them any more.

Anita Let Go Of Fear

In Anita Moorjani’s book, Dying To Be Me,  she talks about a near death experience.  Throughout her life small fears had shaped her world.  She always strove to fit in, and never felt she did.  After her experience, she learned, life is not about fitting in.  It’s about letting go of all fear and living in love or “being love” as she describes it.

Louise Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, talks about fear being one of the four top reasons people develop illnesses.  By holding onto fear whether we developed them or were handed them by others, we only hurt ourselves.

How To Let Go Of Fear

Because you might not recognize the smaller fears at first, it’s easier to start with something you can name as a fear.  I’ll use the example of Maisie’s training.

I feared Maisie going crazy when she saw other dogs on our walks.  It stopped me from taking her places, walking during certain times or even allowing her outside.

Working with our trainer, Nancy, she brought a dog to walk with Maisie.  My first reaction was to pull Maisie back.  It was then I realized it was my behavior, my fear, that caused Maisie to act out.

Releasing this fear came in a couple steps.

• Recognize and own the fear.  Give the fear a name or a picture.  Then own it.  Know it’s all about you and no one else.
• Visualize the situation.  Visualize the situation that you fear.  Then change the picture.  Imagine you have no fear at all.  It’s all working out fine.  Send love to the thing you fear, for me it was the other dogs.
• Practice.  Whenever you’re in the situation, go back to the good visualization.  Practice living that new visualization in real time.
• Love yourself.  The first couple times I had Maisie out on a walk, I didn’t prepare as much as I should.  We encountered a dog.  I tensed up.  Maisie barked.  Then I did something different, instead of telling myself I failed, I congratulated myself on trying.  I didn’t judge.  Instead said I loved and approved of myself.  This practice was perfect in what I knew so far.

The last step is the most important because it’s where you’ll make it or break it.  The typical pattern I see in people is to scold themselves after not meeting their own expectations (or others). This feeds the fear.

By not judging and sending myself love, it was like shining a light into a dark room.  The fear shrunk away.  I was ready for the next dog to come along in a good way.  It didn’t feel like I was going into battle (fear), but instead another opportunity to practice (love).

You Choose.

Every moment of every day, you get to choose whether you’ll live in fear or love.  The natural choice is to live in love, so choose it.  Wherever you are in your journey, always choose love.

photo credit: are you my rik? via flickr

Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and whatever you resist persists.  Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth p.75

On your craziest day, it doesn’t seem possible to stop and breathe.  In the middle of running around, trying to get things done, taking care of your family, balancing a business, breathing doesn’t seem like an option.

Spinning Kids

Have you ever watched a little kid spin in a circle.  The faster they spin, the dizzier they get.  Then they fall down and find it funny because they still feel like they’re spinning.

Your life may feel like that.  You spin faster and faster all day, until you fall down exhausted in bed.  Even then the world doesn’t stop spinning.  In the morning you feel like you haven’t slept at all.  Not so funny.

How To Stop Spinning?

Just let go.  Let go of resistant thoughts.  Let go of judgement.  Let go of having to be right.  Let go of have to’s and should’s.

It’s scary to let go.  You’re so used to spinning it feels normal.  Letting go (which is easier by the way) feels like loosing control.

Remember the spinning kids.  When they let go, they fall on the ground and just laugh.  They feel the freedom of letting go.  Their mixed up world that went blurring by, slowly comes into focus.

Just For Today

Let go of one thing today.  Maybe it’s judgement.  Let it go and fill it’s spot with love and compassion.  See what happens.  You might find yourself giggling for no reason.

photo credit: barbtrek via flickr

Where there is great love there are always miracles. – Willa Cather

Who is your greatest love?

Did the question bring a smile to your face?  Who did you think of?  Your child.  Your husband/wife.  Your best friend.  Your sister/brother.

Who said themselves?  Go ahead raise your hand.

Loving Yourself Is The Greatest Love

Love for yourself is the cornerstone of every great love.  Without it, you can lose your sense of self, your dreams, your spark of life.  With it you find more love in everyone else.

Love Is Not Boastful

Loving yourself can sound foreign, even vain.  Let’s stop that notion right here.  Sure there are people who love themselves for the wrong reasons.  When you scratch the surface, they don’t know what love is.  They think it’s about looking good, being the best, or having the most money.  In essence, none of those matter to your inner self.

Truly loving yourself means embracing everything you are right now.  Do you look in the mirror and say, “You’re perfect just the way you are?”

Or is everything wrong?

Love Does Not Judge

Try the opposite today.  Every time you think a negative thought about yourself.  Stop in the moment.  Apologize and give yourself a little Valentine’s Day hug.  If this is hard to do, think of the person in your life who loved you unconditionally.  Imagine they are beside you all day today cheering you on.  I’ll bet by noon, you’ll feel like a different person.

Here’s another loving thing you can do for yourself.  It came from a moving meditation we did at my yoga class.

Stand up tall.  Place your hands in prayer at your heart.  Slowly reach your arms up above your head.  Continue to bring your arms around in a big circle, arching back a bit, heart toward the sky.  As you bring your arms close to your body, turn the palms up and scoop up the energy from the earth and bring it back to your heart.  Hands close in prayer at your heart. 

Put on some beautiful music and continue this flowing movement for one full song.  You’ll feel as light as a bird at the end.

Your Valentine’s Day

Let’s change the notion of Valentine’s Day to make sure in includes some self love.  A friend reminded me last night how much I love the fragrance of Star Gazer Lilies.  I plan on picking some up between appointments as a gift for myself.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  ~ Lucille Ball

I propose a toast.  Raise your champagne glass and toast the wonderful love of your life, you!